I do agree w/ your words, as I also agree w/ those of SPM. I haven't received anything concrete from W to feel like we're reconciling yet. The fact is, she hasn't been consistent enough for me to even start to put hopes on things. I wouldn't let my pride get in the way of reconciliation as I can forgive and forget if my W is also willing to do so. I'm convinced her affair was a distraction for her to avoid looking inside herself - she's said as much - so I can look past it, but only if she's fully committed to moving forward.
I just can't and won't go through all of this again in 5 years.
What I have noticed is her softening and waffling a bit lately. That is a positive sign for me that she isn't as "done" as she says.
As for what I'm willing to accept, I too feel that if she isn't in it for the long-haul, I'm not in it either. However, if I can get her into couple's therapy that would be a big, big start for me. If she commits to that, that is a sign. What happens from there would depend on how she reacted in therapy.
But again, I'm putting the cart well before the horse, so I've got to slow down and be more realistic about things. Any positives are baby steps, but when she follows them w/ the negatives it is simply one forward, two back.
