Wow! It sure makes it easier to have the "want to" when you need to go to work on something, doesn't it? I am so happy for you. Now, you are willing....to be willing...to get to work on the M without the pulling back and forth on what you wanted to do. There will probably come a time of testing, but just enjoy the "high" that you two are on right now. You both deserve this. It sure gives a lot of hope for others.
God Bless and take care. Talk to you later.
Sandi
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Wow! It sure makes it easier to have the "want to" when you need to go to work on something, doesn't it? I am so happy for you. Now, you are willing....to be willing...to get to work on the M without the pulling back and forth on what you wanted to do. There will probably come a time of testing, but just enjoy the "high" that you two are on right now. You both deserve this. It sure gives a lot of hope for others.
Sandi- I am willing, you are right. The pulling is still there, but I am ignoring it, pushing it away, and I assume it will go away. The "testing" you talk about still comes a little bit each day, and I know we will still have normal fights and because of our "baggage" now, they will be harder to work through, but I have so much hope. I've heard the two months after Retro people tend to be on this high. The key is keeping it going. I plan on doing this.
Thanks for checking on me.
And you guys just hush about Sandi's long posts. :P She helps me with those long posts.
Did our dialoguing again last night. He is really trying to understand me, and I am really trying to understand him. Still feeling closer to H. Feeling happier, too. I do remind myself that the happiness must continue to come from within, not from everyone else. I'm hanging around with my H more often...staying downstairs with him, talking, etc. We are going camping next week. The past 3 years I have taken my son without him. This will be the first year we have gone as a family. I'm excited for it, and my son is beaming about it. I should say this......my son has been so much happier all week...smiling more, laughing more...makes me cry to think about all the time his little emotions have been all mixed up because of us. He used to say to me, "Laugh, Mama. I like it when you laugh," or "That's the first time all day you laughed, Mama." My poor kid. No more. I feel like I was walking on this winding, curvy, rock, uphill path.....and now, the path is straightening and I am noticing all of the trees and flowers around it. Each day will get better.
hahahahahahaha.........okay, okay guys. I knew that was coming sooner or later about the long post. lol
WDID, You have had a shot in the arm of "feelings" that you desparately needed, but it's kind of like a honeymoon phase and I think that it may start to calm down a little bit, so I hope while you are still enjoying this good time and have the encouragement you needed emotionally, you can learn also that you need to make some decisions to love and to be happy by choice. That was real easy for me to say.....not always so easy to act upon. Nobody can "make" us happy and I had to learn that through the years. I thought at 18 when I got married that my H was suppose to make me happy....that marriage was suppose to make me happy. But, it didn't. I didn't have the tools that I needed when I got married to handle what laid before me.
There are two books that may be of help to you, but you have to read it with an open mind. One has already been mentioned to you and that is "Love is a Choice" and I have even argured with some about that b/c I was not in the right frame of mind. The other is "Happiness is a Choice" and I can't remember who wrote it, but you can usually find it where Christian books are sold. It was written several years ago, but I'm sure you could still find it....maybe on Amazon.
I brought this up b/c I know that you can't survive on good feelings all the time. I also know that you are not through the woods yet and you need to get stronger by just being resolved to not enter back into that situation you were in before with OM. The first sign of discouragement will be a tempatation to you, so be prepared by having the information or "tools" under you belt to fight the negative times. Again, I am so glad that you did get this "shot in the arm" that you needed....and for your H also! I'm sure he feels like both of you have been given another chance. You have! You are still young and can have a wonderful life together. Make each day count for good.
Sandi
(How was that guys? lol)
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
(((WDID))) I have been reading your thread and I just had to comment to you.
I am so amazed at you. You have come so far already and it helps me to see things from your side of the fence. I am glad you are fighting for your marriage and giving it the chance it needs.
Good for you.
M:39 H:39 K:S14;D8 T:22yr M:15yrs S:12/28/07 EA/PA 3/14/08 OW preg 11/17/08 born 12/12/08 his ~~~~~~~ Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option
