Hope4us struggle, part 7

[Hope4us]

Thanks H. I really appreciate it.

I'm not sure if she'll go or not. She's the type that thinks either the feelings are there or they're not. And if she won't go to see what could come of our marriage, is she someone I want to spend the rest of my life with? I mean, given that we hit a rough patch in our marriage (and I don't even think it was that rough, but I'll go along with her thinking it was) and she had an affair instead of dealing with the "problems" and given her "feelings are there or they aren't" approach, will she do this again if we would hit another rough patch? Or if things weren't that bad in our marriage (which I believe) and some predator came along and knew what to say to her and she fell for it, what if someone else comes along and makes her squishy, will she do it again? Given her apparent unwillingness to "work" on issues in the marriage, am I just setting myself up for it to happen again?

Things to ponder. Those are the reasons why I think her answer to Retro will be the deciding point for me. I mean, she could say she doesn't want to go and I say "then what is your plan for seeing if we can fix the marriage, cause what we're doing now ain't workin" and if she can come up with something, then MAYBE, but I just am not sure I want to take the risk further with someone who won't do anything to fix what's broken.

It just helps in my further detachment. It feels good and at the same time it feels bad.