I would NOT recommend contacting the OM. It raises him to your level, makes you appear weak, and it serves no purpose. Exposing the affair to his wife, employer and parents are always an option, but not OM directly.
"Detach" does not mean the same as "don't care." Have you read Divorce Remedy or Divorce Busting? MWD can explain "detachment" better than I certainly can. But basically, it means that you still CARE about your wife, but you don't let her moods, her words or her actions affect yours. You do what you PLAN to do, regardless of what she says or does.
I never stopped caring for my wife, even while she was at her most vile, deceietful, adulterous self. I never stopped LOVING her (although I may not have LIKED her very much ). But I didn't let how I FELT about her, or how she treated me, affect what I planned to DO each day, or do about each situation that presented itself. Instead of reacting from a position of "Will this piss her off? Will she be angry with me, and if so, how will that make me feel?" I went instead from a position of "What is the RIGHT thing to do in this situation? What would GOD have me do? What will take me closer to my goals?"
Easier said than done, I know, and I failed -- many times. But that's what you're shooting for.
). But I didn't let how I FELT about her, or how she treated me, affect what I planned to DO each day, or do about each situation that presented itself. Instead of reacting from a position of "Will this piss her off? Will she be angry with me, and if so, how will that make me feel?" I went instead from a position of "What is the RIGHT thing to do in this situation? What would GOD have me do? What will take me closer to my goals?"
