Another one joins the flock (Part II)

[Mike85]

And the collateral damage of wife's MLC becomes more evident:

Oldest son (age 9) was supposed to go to scout day camp this week. The schedule was would have me dropping him off at 7:30 am each morning, he'd be off doing cool scouting stuff, and then he'd be brought back at 4:30. Wife and I signed him up for this (and paid for it) back in April, before me and the kids knew she was going to drop the bomb.

Well, son told wife (with whom he was that day) he didn't want to go on Monday b/c he didn't feel well. He had been sick that weekend with a stomach bug, so she didn't think anything of it. He didn't go.

On Tuesday, when I had him, he said that he still didn't feel well. Didn't go.

On Wednesday, he begged off again. I asked him if he *really* didn't feel well... of if he just didn't want to go. He started crying and told me that he didn't want to be "sent away" from his real home or be away from his brother and me all day. he said that he just wanted to spend time with me, his brother, and his house and his stuff.

I know that at this point my wife would have badgered him to go, first trying the angle about how much fun he'd have with all his scout friends, how he'd be doing all these cool things, and how it really wasn't that long and he would be back soon, and then eventually guilting him by mentioning how we'd sold wreaths and paid good money to sign him up for this thing. But looking at my little boy's face, I just couldn't do that. He's confused, he's sad, and he misses his normal life.

I've been letting him stay home with me this week. I do check with him each morning just to see if he's changed his mind for the day, but he hasn't yet.

The poor kid has a counseling session on Saturday, and I'm going to mention it to his therapist. I'm also going to broach the subject with wife, letting her know that son is more upset about the situation than he has let on.

My son also informed me that wife has left him and his brother alone with OM so that she could go grocery shopping or run household errands. He said that OM basically lays on the couch and watches TV or works on the boat, and sometimes tries to have conversations with them, but that he pretty much ignores them. Any early concerns I had that OM would try to step into the "daddy" role are long gone - it's evident to all that he tolerates my kids only b/c they come with the "package."

I don't think the kids are in any kind of danger, but it pisses me off that wife treats the times she has the kids as if they're not special. I understand that household chores need to be done, but to ditch the kids when you only have them 3-4 days a week?!? Hell, I do shopping too, but I bring the kids WITH me.

I have to keep in mind, however, that my source of info is a child. Don't know if I should even bring this up. Or if I do, how to do it w/o it becoming accusatory and argumentative.

Patience... patience...