..........................Hey Wait.. It's My Life!

[girlfromipanema]

I had to share this post from another thread... WOW!

A year ago, I would have said that I had a lot of regrets....now, I would hardly say any. I think my one and only regret would be not living for myself and that happened long before my X started having an affair. I lived for him....I did what he wanted when he wanted....I was always worried about him being upset with me or unhappy. I've now realized that is no way to live.....you need to live for yourself....do things you want to do....say what you think. My X was broken and still is. He broke my heart, but he did not break me or my spirit.....that's the difference between he and I and that's the reason that I survived this...the reason that I rose above it....the reason I took the high road....and the reason that I turned into a better person while he pointed fingers and blamed everyone else for his problems and unhappiness....and still is.

In so many ways our sitch's are the same, but then again they are so different....so many factors and in the end it all depends on the character of the people involved....the WAS, the LBS, and the OP.

Time passes....people change....some for the better some for the worse. I made a committment to my X....that is why I stuck it out for 8 months while he was having an affair and living with OW. I never once said it was okay. I told him that he couldn't live in our house days after he disclosed the affair and refused no contact....he moved out the next day and never came back for more than a few days here or there. I did not shut the door on our marriage....but I refused to pretend that things were okay. I told him I WAS NOT GOING TO LIVE WITH HIM LIKE THIS....and that was the truth and I'm glad I said it. I've said many other things to him that I'm glad I did....he probably doesn't remember them, but I needed to say them for myself. I wrote him letters which I know we weren't supposed to do, but once again I needed to do it for myself.

We have been separated for a year and half now and if people would see us today, they wouldn't have ever believed that we were married. I married him because I loved him....I stuck it out for months while he was carrying on an affair because I promised to be with him through better and worse. I would have taken him back and he probably would have had another affair, so that is the reason that I say my sitch was one that wasn't meant to be. God has different plans for me and I wouldn't have realized that on my own....that's the reason that my marriage was not given a second chance. Some marriages are meant to be saved....some aren't. Some people can become better after this....some can't. The only person you can control or change is yourself....so start there and let the rest work itself out.

I saw a lot of you and me in this post. Love you, beauty!