Hey friends - thanks for posting to me. Feeling a little alone at the moment.
NMD - I'm not blaming myself any longer. It's taken longer than I thought to get to that point, but I think I'm there.
Cookie, I don't think she sees her route as easier or less scary. I think she sees her route as her route. But her history has always defined the pursuit of anything meaningful as precluding the possibility of a relationship. She wanted to go to boarding school? She dumped her friends and moved east. She wanted to go to a prestigious college? She kept everyone at arm's length and focused on her grades. She wanted to pursue a master's degree? She told me it was over with no chance to talk. She decides to finish her PhD? She decides divorce is the only answer.
It's a cycle. I hate it, but it's a cycle. I should be glad that I was the one that stayed in her life for the longest period of time. Unfortunately I can't help but wonder how many OM have there been and should I get tested.
I don't know if I "get it" or not. I think I do, but I also thought that 9 years ago. If I did get it, then "getting it" clearly didn't last. Live and learn I guess.
Hey girl - nothing new with ring girl. I have class tomorrow night so will see her then. Did I mention she's willowy?
