Donna, thank you. I don't know when the shift occurred, but it did. I am very sad he doesn't want to be my H anymore, but I can still treat him like a friend. Make sense?
I am more sad for our kids, who no longer see 2 people in love, hugging, kissing, glances, closeness, all that jazz. In fact, when they stopped questioning why Daddy slept on the couch (used to ask me every morning for months), it was harder for me than to hear their questions. Because it was like they just accepted that married Mommy and Daddy slept apart. Sigh...
I hear you, I can't wait til stbx gets his own place and stops coming over to watch kids while I work (I have to wait 'til he comes, usually late, then see him some more before he leaves). I just want to extract him out of my life and not revive any more hurts/good/bad memories when I see him.
HOpe you get the refi done soon and he can go on with his life
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
Well, as sad as it is for the kids to see you co-existing, it is much better for them than if you were fighting or being nasty to each other. In my case, I was a shaking, crying mess most of the time; it was much better with him out. The eggshells were knee-high in my house.
It's sad because we wanted more for our kids and they don't deserve what they got. It's just sad to me that their other parent isn't responsible enough to want this for them as well. Sweetie, they have you and that pretty great in itself.
I got an e-mail from the Drunken Fish and I thought of it in a whole new light!
cat, I knew you kind of dealt with what I am dealing with. Not fun. Its like H can have all of me that he wants (the house, the kids, etc), but then can live his single life whenever he so chooses. I need space!!
And yes, Beth. H and I were talking the other day about finances, and he said "You think I am selfish for wanting all this money". I said, "No, its half yours. But I do think you are selfish for wanting this divorce." He looked shocked, but its the darn truth. And thank for the reminder about the girls. I am lucky to have the girls, just as lucky as they are to have me. Thanks!!
I think that they(the courts) should require that you attend a retrouvaille weekend. I know Sara is crazy about them, have you thought about it? You have nothing to lose and everything to gain. Think about it before you file.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
I have to agree w/ you Donna, the eggshell walking @ my place was the same. Though our daycare teachers tell me how the oldest just wishes her we would get back together. The constant fighting and d never knowing what mood he was gonna be in is draining. I didnt realize just how much I lost of 'myself' just trying to please him all the time.
I am naturally a calm person but /w him I was on edge all the time. I have to say this turned out for the better for the most part.
