My $.02. Your W is responsible for her own happiness. Not you.
If she was unhappy about something in the M, then it was her responsibility to clearly communicate that. If she didn't, then she has her own issues she needs to deal with. If she communicated clearly and you refused to listen, well, you've got some stuff to deal with.
Regardless, I agree. you can't win against her perceived memories. The best you can do is be true to yourself and examine whether the life you're leading is really what you want. If not, then pursue something different. The only fight you can win is the one for yourself. She fell in love with you once because you were probably more confident and interesting. If you are that way again, maybe she'll come back.
The question is, now that you know how she deals with problems, do you want her back? This is really hard to hear, realize, and accept, but it's the truth. If she's as willing as you are to work on things, then there is a chance. Otherwise, no. You can certainly affect that dynamic by using DB tools, but ultimately it is a question of whether she'll return to the M and address the problems or continue to run.
Consistency is the key. Consistency, patience, understanding. For yourself and for her. No matter what happens. IMO.
lodo
PS. I should mention that I steered clear of the whole A issue. If I were you I'd ask Puppy for some advice.
