The continuing story of the Lake Erie Shore

[Neilh23]

i know suzanne. i'm just not at a good place right now emotionally. i feel so lost....could because i'm tired and need a solid nites sleep.

i'm also beginning to come to grips with how much i really did hurt my W. i'm having a hard time forgiving myself.......i thought i was putting this woman up on a pedestal..when in reality, i wasn't....i know i did at some point....in my own way...i don't think she ever recognized it.....again, the LL thing. we didn't communicate it that well........that's the most frustrating part of this...the communication was all that was wrong.....it's so easy to make better.........


ugh.

[Continuing]

Hey Neil,

I know it may not be much but I heard this song on the radio and its kinda eerie how much it applies to us. I posted the link on my thread, I don't know if you've looked at it.

Forget about the video and just listen or maybe look up the lyrics, its a fist pumper.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=18pelixcmvQ

[pisces9]

Smile at her (PMA)- YES!
Compliment her- HOW?
Be in control of my emotions....ie no anger, sadness- HOW?
Be happy to see the kids- HOW?
Offer words of affirmation....not all the time..but when the mood strikes...HOW?

i would write the specific actions here:
how will you do all the above? smile at her is action oriented- the others are not as specific...

does that make sense?

[pisces9]

ps. that song makes me CRY cant listen...

[Neilh23]

Pisces...yep. it does. just gotta think about it. and i ain't in any place to think about it...LOL.....oiy vay.

thanks....

you've given me hope, my dear. really. thanks.

[pisces9]

OY VEY is right- i feel ya tomorrow is a new day!

[Bridgestone]

the communication was all that was wrong.....it's so easy to make better..........

I'm betting there were some actions in there that helped make it wrong.

And if you think it's easy to change your communication style think again.

Just like almost everything else, it is alearned behaviour and it takes unlearning & relearning. You haver your own 'natural' communication style as well as the patterns you have set with your W. that are destructive.. both need to change. It is work. a lot of conscious energy draining work.

How are things today?
Bridge

[Neilh23]

Bridge-
better. you're right, there were some actions that helped to lead to this (or lack thereof)..... right now, i'm just not sure of them. LOL. so i focus on improving my communication skills with whomever i'm with.

it is draining....so right....and for me, when i see an iota of progress, it's not enough. Your quote is all me. LOL

thanks for checking in.

new thread too...

[Jack_Three_Beans]

Oh...now, I like 3 Doors Down...

But come on people, what are you masochistic?

Didn't you learn in high school to stay away from songs like this when your relationship takes a bad turn?

I mean whats next, drinking alone?

Neil you want some good songs, "I'm not going to break songs?" That don't involves a broken relationship?

Not Falling - Mudvayne
Black Parade - My Chemical Romance
Move Along - All American Rejects

Not a single broekn heart mentioned, just the desire not to fail despite everything that the world throws at you.

[TwinDad]

I always sing Amazing Grace to myself during tough times....it is very uplifting to me