"I am just happy is all. You quit smoking when you are ready. Its a shame our son has to be exposed to that, but you can't rush people into things they aren't ready for. Take the time you need to get there, WANTING to quit is the first step, and I am proud of you. Our son would be proud of you too."
As for her mentioning the papers, just ignore her as you are doing.
I am thinking maybe saying "I am following our pastor's lead. He doens't think we are ready to sign anything, he thinks we should think of our son before we think of ourselves. I hate to admit it, but he may be right."
I DON"T KNOW about that one, I will leave it to the jury here to ascertain if that's a good approach or not.
I don't reccomend being abbrasive at all, just supportive and honest, as per my example.
