Take Away This Ball & Chain

[lost_in_space]

Kalni,

Can you provide the link to your original threads?

[Kalni]

OMG!! My original threads? I stopped linking them, I am on 34 I think...
Hold on...

[Sugar and Spice]

In your case, I wanted to be very harsh from the beginning but didn't "know" you and was afraid to speak out. I honestly believe that getting yourself out of his mess, is the best thing you could have done for you and your family. Sometimes we just need to face the fact that things are not as we thought they would be. Sometimes, it was bad timing, worse choice.

I wish you would have, however I don't think I would have "heard" you. All input is welcome. Sometimes it is better coming from someone who is a new voice, kind of a jolt of sorts.

I think the trick is to STILL be nice (most people in my life would tell you I'm one of the nicest people they know), but to not be a "Nice Guy"/"Nice Girl" in the contest of the "NMMNG" teaching.
Be courteous, kind and conscientious, but not pleasing.
It's all about who you're doing it for. If you're doing it because it's who you are, and it's simply the right thing to do, then that's fine. But if you're doing it to create some sort of quid pro quo from your spouse, or out of fear of what their reaction is going to be (that they'll "get mad"), then you've crossed over into pleasing/rescuing/supplicating territory, and THAT doesn't work.
Puppy

These are the behaviors I am going to have to "unlearn." Being the child of an extremely violent and tempramental mother and a father who believed in "peace at any price." I learned to be a pleaser/rescuer early on and obviously in many areas its never stopped.

I'm trying now, thats the best I can do.

[Puppy Dog Tails]

That's all ANY of us can do.

[girlfromipanema]

((((((((Corey and Puppy and Kalni and ALL))))))))

I really admire you guys.

[Sugar and Spice]

Well H just left here and I didn't do as well as I could have, but I'm still overall pretty proud of myself.

I took DS to football practice and H was supposed to pick him up and take him over to MIL's house because tomorrow is his last baseball game (praise jesus!). So H came over here first because I went and took a pre-lim test today for my math class and did pretty bad. So he came over to help me. He was pretty nice. I only got emotional once, but stopped myself and went on with the "as if." I can actually act like more detached around him these days and its not hard at all, I guess because I'm still just pissed.

Funny part is...H told the Troll he can't go with her to the concert because he has to take care of his kids. WTF? I think that is the first time since this bs started that he has put anyone/anything in front of Dos Trolls (new nickname...shes lurking under bridges for 2 now!LOL). Not seeing it as a positive in the sitch, other than he is now seeing his kids as a priority which I certainly can't/won't complain about. Its also quite possible that he just really didn't want to go and this is a convenient excuse - hes not a big Los Lobos/Los Lonley Boys fan. If she had Metallica or GnR tickets, the boy would be walkin' to practice.

So anyway. I was able to deal with him on a pretty good level, the only time he really bothered me was when he was helping me with some of the math stuff he got really frustrated and then gets loud, but I just didn't buy into it this time so it stopped pretty quick.

MS. GFI of the twerpling kumquats I am always in awe of you. You are a force to be reckoned with.

Thanks guys.Oh, BTW...H HATES my new ringbacks (Take a Bow & What Goes Around Comes Around). He says he can't understand Rhianna. Yah right.

[Virtually_Handsome]

((((((Corey)))))

If there is ever anything I can do to help with math, I'd be happy to try! That's one thing I can do!

You did pretty well, I think. You stayed calm, and out of his drama!

[Sugar and Spice]

(((Jeff))) I will definately be taking you up on that. Its not that I can't do it, I have just been out of school for so long and this course is condensed so my old brain is having trouble retaining all of the info. Thanks so much though! Muuuuaaahhh!!!

It was a drama free night and I'm having some cheap wine and posting here, so all is well!!!!

Corey

[Virtually_Handsome]

I'm serious, drop an email, or whatever!

I'm glad you are having a good night!

(((((Corey)))))

[Sugar and Spice]

Me too and I will. I don't know if its good, but since the wine, its gotten better.

My typing sucks though. LOL!!!!