So, you never found my post, huh? Pitty, it contained THE secret of happy life... Missed your chance, LOL!!!
They all feel relieved once "the decision" is made, especially when not made by them. Sorry to speak with "all" and "them" etc, you know what I mean.
I was married to an American, cultural differences or lack of culture, played a big role. My stbx was a traditional young, modern Greek man, I thought "we matched" better... Look at us now... (plus I am AGAIN in love with an American, nice huh?).
Move out of there, get a place you like, change everything if you feel like it. It will speed up the process... You will find strength you didn't think you had. Relief, peace of mind... That twisting and turning in bed will stop, the anxiety attacks, the worrying... It's freedom, girl. We all wanted them back BUT let's make the best out of what we got... No, not nothing, US!!! K
