Just like the fog sometimes lifts from the WAS, it does lift from us LBss, as well. Of course, WHEN it lifts is another issue but when it happens, things show their real "face" and usually all excuses and justifications for their f&cks up just come down fast... I am convinced that as long as "we" are not ready to see it, no matter if Puppy is on our back 24/7, it won't happen.
My stbxH is a nice guy. No abuse or anything very mean, he is just weak. Being nice and accommodating to him, only made it easier for him to avoid his issues. Now that I am gone, he may wake up, but it could be that I destroyed any chances for this marriage since I let it die before I "stood up".
In your case, I wanted to be very harsh from the beginning but didn't "know" you and was afraid to speak out. I honestly believe that getting yourself out of his mess, is the best thing you could have done for you and your family. Sometimes we just need to face the fact that things are not as we thought they would be. Sometimes, it was bad timing, worse choice.
Once you get some more distance between you and his crap, you will fell free, this guy is bad news and he would be holding you down only to be able to measure up with you. I hope I am not being too harsh, but sweetheart, you can't correct a mistake, with another one. Get as far as you can get from him. Love K
