Feeling Hopeless...

[Dom R]

*wave*

you inspired me to change the subject of my thread... i'm trying desperately to keep myself in that frame of mind. I keep having moments where i just wonder why i bother, but i do my best to squash those as they occur... hopefully i'll start feeling that way less often.

Cheer!

Yesterday, they didn't eat lunch and were eating potato chips when i walked in the door at 6:30 last night. He didn't even have the baby as my friend watched her, so we'll see how it goes.

whoa!

how about time to step up and tell your H, "this is not an acceptible way to feed our children. If you cant handle feeding them properly, then I will have [the babysitter do it]"

Here's a great example of my issue... yesterday, i got home from work and he went upstairs to rest a little. I go to wake him up about an hour later for dinner, he says no. I go up about 30 minutes after that cause the baby was hungry and it's easier to feed her if he can keep an eye on the girls, he said just a minute. I go up 15 minutes later and he says he's just too tired to get up. 45 minutes later i turned on the light and told him he needed to get up and i walked away.

The question here is... Why did you let him get away with this?
I'd say when you went up "15 minutes later", is the time you should have turned on the light, and STAYED THERE, possibly yelling a bit, until he GOT HIS LAZY BUTT UP then and there!!

WTH is he so tired?!! he needs to get up and get moving more, not lay around more!

He's behaving like a spoiled 15-year-old boy.
Stop ALLOWING him to continue behaving that way.

he comes down stairs all angry and asks what i want.

(Sulky 15 year old boy says), okok i'mup whaddyawant, mom? scowl.

This should not be an acceptable way for him to treat you.
The way it becomes not acceptable.... is when you stop accepting it !!!


Didnt he get at you about "your attitude" in the car the other night?

Time for you to start picking up on his bad attitude moments.

I'm getting like 3 hours of sleep at night cause of the baby

Clearly, YOU are the one who should be napping upstairs, not him!
When you talk about it with him, though.. make sure to not exaggerate. Dont say "like 3 hours". A guy will most likely ignore statements like that, because he will figure you are just exaggerating.
Be able to tell him truthfully that you had exactly X hours sleep last night, Y hours of sleep the night before, and Z the night before that.

He always accusses me of starting a fight with him. at least once a day, if not more. Heaven forbid i disagree with him.

We fight alot, just never about anything. It's always stupid little things that don't even matter.

So... pick a fight once a day, about the important things, and stop doing the other ones

When people dont fix what REALLY needs fixing.... they tend to have fights about "stupid little things", because it gets all built up. There's a phrase for that, but i forget it right now

Choose to fight about the stuff that really needs fixing, and you will probably have less urge to fight about "the stupid things".

Thanks Dom!!

you're welcome