Hi Shelby...ok this is just my opinion and not necessarily good DB techniques, ok?
But in my mind, the truth is always the best way to go.
Right now, your highest truth is that you realize there needs to be more affection in your marriage, and you also truly feel the need for some non-sexual affection from your husband right now. This is your TRUTH.
Because it is the truth, I think you can either say to him "dear, do you mind if I ask you to just hold me for a moment?"....or you can take the plunge without asking, and start with a simple touch - such as touching his arm gently but purposely for a few moments while standing next to him, or going in slowly for a simple kiss on the cheek (slowly so that he will not startle away from you).
Just know that you may get rejected or open up a wound for him by doing this...but that will be ok. You still were just trying to tell him your truth by being affectionate. And after the sting wears off (if he does reject you) then you can wait a while and try again.
He may even allow the holding you or you touching him at first, and then shrug it off or even begin an argument about it.
This is ok if he does this, because THAT will be his truth and he will need to express it to you.
Now...given all that I am saying, it will still be imperitive for you not to think that a little affection will change his mind about much. Baby baby teeny tiny steps are necessary. Not great leaps and bounds. Remember that baby steps are how you got to where you are, and before you knew it, you and your H had baby stepped over the years to places that were far apart with each other. Now it will take baby steps to get it back.
So my opinion is....yes, ask him humbly to hold you for a moment, or reach out and touch him non-sexually without asking, and evaluate things after ward.
