Mulesqb - Still alive and Kickin'

[Bworl]

I think the realm and scope of your wife's issues are probably far beyond anything that I feel comfortable addressing. It does sound a bit like her therapist is tackling this as a childhood issue that is impacting her current life. Would be interesting to know the therapists take on what provoked the change in her behavior, and how he/she feels about the disconnect intimately between the two of you.

Your focus needs to be centered on the things that you can have some control over - you and the boys. You can emotionally support your wife and continue to love her and be compassionate, but the only things that you can ENSURE stay good are you and the boys.

I believe the comment about your family not calling was just a dagger that she threw.

I believe the comment about you brainwashing the boys probably has some truth and a lot of guilt in it. She knows she has not handled them well, and she probably does wonder if you guys have backroom conversations about her. I would be inclined to assure her that this was not the case (as I'm sure you already did), then leave the issue alone. My guess is that most of that comment was said because of the guilt she feels at not being very motherly lately.

Have the two of you talked about the physical intimacy issue? That is, have you spoken at all about WHY she feels incapable of being with you in that way? I believe you have shared that there have been times when she allowed hugging or cuddling in bed, and honestly, she doesn't seem unattracted to you to me. I just find it a bit odd that she expresses not feeling loved and at the same time pushes you away.

I just think right now it's a time and wait and see thing Mules. Other than a few slip ups that were hurtful to the boys, she really is not "acting out" in a way that so many others seem to experience. She is in therapy of some kind and that's a plus.

I guess I would continue to strive for normalcy as much as possible. There doesn't seem to be any great benefit to you, her, or the boys in turning the house into a no contact zone.


Blessings,

Bill