Feeling Hopeless...

[ann25]

glad to hear that you are still in a "working on it" frame of mind. That's the best thing

you inspired me to change the subject of my thread... i'm trying desperately to keep myself in that frame of mind. I keep having moments where i just wonder why i bother, but i do my best to squash those as they occur... hopefully i'll start feeling that way less often.

about the daycare thing...

I agree with you about this... I'd absolutely love for him to step up and really start caring for them. Hopefully today will be better than yesterday. Yesterday, they didn't eat lunch and were eating potato chips when i walked in the door at 6:30 last night. He didn't even have the baby as my friend watched her, so we'll see how it goes.

He has to accept your efforts in some areas, so you have to accept his. right?

If he actually prepared a meal for our family i would probably die from the shock of it.... just kidding (sort of). I would appreciate any effort. TV dinners, frozen burritos, top ramen (my girls love that stuff)... anything would be fine with me.

Here's a great example of my issue... yesterday, i got home from work and he went upstairs to rest a little. I go to wake him up about an hour later for dinner, he says no. I go up about 30 minutes after that cause the baby was hungry and it's easier to feed her if he can keep an eye on the girls, he said just a minute. I go up 15 minutes later and he says he's just too tired to get up. 45 minutes later i turned on the light and told him he needed to get up and i walked away. he comes down stairs all angry and asks what i want. I told him i needed him to keep an eye on the girls while i fed the baby, so he kinda did for a minute, then they were down sitting on the couch with me while he was doing stuff upstairs. I guess daddy told them to go play somewhere else.

Then he gets upset cause i'm falling asleep feeding the baby. I'm exhausted. I'm getting like 3 hours of sleep at night cause of the baby. Then i'm out working all day and i come home and play with my babies... I don't take 3 hour naps in the evening, i don't wake up at 9 am. It doesn't fit into my schedule.

Am i really asking for so much, that he be awake and keep an eye on the girls for 20 minutes so i can feed the baby?

Any marriage counsellor will tell you, that "starting a fight" is not the worst thing you can do for a marriage. By far a worse thing, is NEVER fighting about ANYTHING.
Then nothing ever gets resolved, and things just keep getting worse and worse.

Just a thought there for you. I think you actually handled that quite well... and, wonder of wonders, you got a good response from him!

He always accusses me of starting a fight with him. at least once a day, if not more. Heaven forbid i disagree with him.

We fight alot, just never about anything. It's always stupid little things that don't even matter.

I guess the way i said it made his response sound better than it was. He was sarcastic and grumpy about it. The words were right, but the attitude behind them was waaaay off. I'll take what i can get though.

I'm just going to keep trying to do my part of this and pray for the best.

Thanks Dom!!