Just remember.. it's easy to put down your spouse right now. It's better to build up yourself. Just forget all the names I'm calling mine, though.. alrighty? It's a phase I'm going through.
Can I go through that phase, too? I really want to.
((((((((((Sweetest Girl))))))))))
You sound at peace with the situation, and that makes me feel so good for you.
Be well, my friend!
Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward. ~ Joseph Campbell
Just remember.. it's easy to put down your spouse right now. It's better to build up yourself. Just forget all the names I'm calling mine, though.. alrighty? It's a phase I'm going through.
Can I go through that phase, too? I really want to.
You sound at peace with the situation, and that makes me feel so good for you.
(((GF))) lets go through that phase together, K? It may be short lived, but important. We'll consider it a temporary Tourettes of the spouse.
(((GFI))) You are doing sooooo well these days. Its kind of like a weight gets lifted off of you, huh? I'm here for you if you need me.
M:39 H:39 K:S14;D8 T:22yr M:15yrs S:12/28/07 EA/PA 3/14/08 OW preg 11/17/08 born 12/12/08 his ~~~~~~~ Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option
I broke the news to my dad and grandmother this morning. They asked what happened and I simply said it probably boiled down to cultural differences. I told them I would never say anything negative about my husband. That I still care for him and that I respect him as a person... that deep down he is an honorable man. My grandmother asked me to let my husband know that she appreciates him and will miss him. She said marriage is a grab in the dark and sometimes we think we make the right life decision but it doesn't always turn out the way we planned. I thanked her for being a beautiful example of a loving wife... that I tried with all my might to save my marriage but I am at peace with my new direction in life.
Does it seem like I'm putting down my husband? I don't mean to do so...
M: 37 H: 36 Married: Aug 13, 2004 Decision to Divorce: July 20, 2008 Reconciled: September 2008 Current: Ambivalence
Princess Nic, GF, Sugar... my beautiful girls! Our men are making such mistakes letting us go.
I don't know that I would change anything if I could. I have grown so much. I feel so good right now. Let's see how long I can keep this empowered state of mind!
Love you all!
M: 37 H: 36 Married: Aug 13, 2004 Decision to Divorce: July 20, 2008 Reconciled: September 2008 Current: Ambivalence
They asked what happened and I simply said it probably boiled down to cultural differences.
Are you sure it was this? Would you ever consider dating someone else from another country? Did you try much to adapt to some of his culture?
I will admit that I have an attraction towards asian women. I never had this before I went out with my prior girlfriend from Taiwan. I now am not so excited about meeting someone that does not know who Jerry Rice and Joe Montana were or what the designated hitter rule is.
Are you sure it was this? Would you ever consider dating someone else from another country? Did you try much to adapt to some of his culture?
I do believe much of our trouble can be tied into his "traditional" mentality. I could be wrong, but he won't talk to me so I may never know. I would absolutely date someone from another country. I'm fascinated with other cultures and I think foreign men have a certain wisdom that young American men lack (at least the ones I've met - but I'm very impressed with our male DBers). I do not "see" a person's race... I try to see his or her heart.
I also do not believe my marriage problems were too difficult to overcome, but I married a very stubborn man. I have no regrets. It was a wonderful experience for the most part... even the heart break because all I have learned.
M: 37 H: 36 Married: Aug 13, 2004 Decision to Divorce: July 20, 2008 Reconciled: September 2008 Current: Ambivalence
So, you never found my post, huh? Pitty, it contained THE secret of happy life... Missed your chance, LOL!!!
They all feel relieved once "the decision" is made, especially when not made by them. Sorry to speak with "all" and "them" etc, you know what I mean.
I was married to an American, cultural differences or lack of culture, played a big role. My stbx was a traditional young, modern Greek man, I thought "we matched" better... Look at us now... (plus I am AGAIN in love with an American, nice huh?).
Move out of there, get a place you like, change everything if you feel like it. It will speed up the process... You will find strength you didn't think you had. Relief, peace of mind... That twisting and turning in bed will stop, the anxiety attacks, the worrying... It's freedom, girl. We all wanted them back BUT let's make the best out of what we got... No, not nothing, US!!! K
Maria, Maria, Maria! You give me such strength. I am ready to take on the world. Guess what??? I am SMILING! My confident smile is bringing the wolves out, too. At lunch, a stunningly beautiful man asked me to have coffee with him. He looked to be maybe 28 years old! ;-)
This change in me has created a change in my h. He actually *seems* sad. I could be wrong, of course. Here's the kicker: why do I feel even a tiny bit bad for him only possibly feeling sad, when he hasn't cared about how I feel for so long now?
I might have a new place lined out - in the perfect neighborhood. Not far from work, lots and lots of trees and no noise! It won't be ready until end of August/early September though. I'm ready to spread my wings NOW. Things are moving forward.
M: 37 H: 36 Married: Aug 13, 2004 Decision to Divorce: July 20, 2008 Reconciled: September 2008 Current: Ambivalence
My confident smile is bringing the wolves out, too. At lunch, a stunningly beautiful man asked me to have coffee with him. He looked to be maybe 28 years old! ;-)
Thats always nice. What did you say? Enquiring minds want to know?
Originally Posted By: girlfromipanema
I might have a new place lined out - in the perfect neighborhood. Not far from work, lots and lots of trees and no noise! It won't be ready until end of August/early September though. I'm ready to spread my wings NOW. Things are moving forward.
What about the kitties? Is there anyone who can keep them for you? I would love to offer, but Spike doesn NOT play well with others, even those of us that feed him and clean his nasty litter box! Ick!
Originally Posted By: Kalni
(plus I am AGAIN in love with an American, nice huh?).
Sooo it is true then? You and Woog are an "item?"
M:39 H:39 K:S14;D8 T:22yr M:15yrs S:12/28/07 EA/PA 3/14/08 OW preg 11/17/08 born 12/12/08 his ~~~~~~~ Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option
