Figured I better come here to vent over doing something stupid like sending an email or something...I really don't want to hold on to this anger, because I don't want it to be counterproductive to the DBing, but i just needed to get it out.
That's great: come here to vent, don't express that anger to him.
And something that might help with that anger, too, is empathizing with your H. I know that's hard to do, but what he's doing is very difficult, too. I wrote this in another thread awhile back:
Think of how much pain your S is going through, and try to feel empathy. Think about what it would be like to try to walk away from your life, how hard that would be to have friends, family, spouse, all upset, confused, thinking you're crazy. Think how much you would need to justify your actions to be able to think of yourself as a good person, how little you could afford to let yourself miss the life, the people you are leaving behind, and how much you would cast around in desperation trying to find new connections and an escape from lonliness.
I'm not defending him, but he IS trying to do what he thinks is the best thing, for himself, but also for you and your kids. Granted, he's mistaken, but if you want to save your M, it's your job to show him a path with YOU that leads to greater happiness for all of you. Right now, he doesn't see that path.
It is in the shelter of each other that people live.--Irish proverb
