Hey Ted you hang in there buddy! It is very difficult to see our WAW act the way they do, and at times for no apparent reason they have to lash out at us. You stay strong in your prayers and I will keep you in mine. I have been talking alot to the man upstairs and praying for my W as well!
It is very difficult to see our WAW act the way they do, and at times for no apparent reason they have to lash out at us.
I know what the reason is, and I fully understand that it really has nothing to do with me personally. She knows it too. When she will get to work on her stuff, I don't know but I pray that it will be soon. She could be just like Smartcookie. I know she can do it and I look forward to supporting her through everything.
Originally Posted By: jonzy
You stay strong in your prayers and I will keep you in mine. I have been talking alot to the man upstairs and praying for my W as well!
It is neat saying prayers. It makes me feel young cuz it reminds me of a lil' boy saying them before beddy bye time. It is something that never goes out of style. I pray that I will become as good of a listener as God. The key, from what I have been told (and I must have been listening ), is to listen with an 'ear' for understanding. That is the change that I want her to see in me. That reminds me of an interesting experience that happened to me just about this time last year. I'll share it later. Gotta go fly. My flight was delayed today cuz my freight was late showing up from Indy. It's always something.
Give glory and honor to the Lord your God. Only he is worthy.
Just a very brief post as I desperately need to get a bunch of rest.
My darling could not resist the urge to start spewing hate and venom my way this evening. As soon as she got out of work and checked in w/ her sis, who is having a surgical procedure tomorrow, she began blasting me with TM's. They stated that she could not believe that I would not help her sis and her H. My darling thought that I should help them through their apparent financial crisis by offering them to stay at my hotel room, or something of that nature, to lessen their commute back and forth from the hospital. She said that because of me, they would have to get up at 2AM (in a couple of hours) and drive nearly two hours to the hospital for her scheduled surgery. She said that she would never be able to forgive me for not helping them as she thought that I should. She also mentioned that she would have been interested in moving into my apt with me in a couple of weeks. Then she closed her msg with, "I hate you".
My emotions are pretty well strained. Talking to the Lord should help to heal them. He is the greatest healer of all time. Good night and God bless you all.
Just a very brief post as I desperately need to get a bunch of rest.
My darling could not resist the urge to start spewing hate and venom my way this evening. As soon as she got out of work and checked in w/ her sis, who is having a surgical procedure tomorrow, she began blasting me with TM's. They stated that she could not believe that I would not help her sis and her H. My darling thought that I should help them through their apparent financial crisis by offering them to stay at my hotel room, or something of that nature, to lessen their commute back and forth from the hospital. She said that because of me, they would have to get up at 2AM (in a couple of hours) and drive nearly two hours to the hospital for her scheduled surgery. She said that she would never be able to forgive me for not helping them as she thought that I should. She also mentioned that she would have been interested in moving into my apt with me in a couple of weeks. Then she closed her msg with, "I hate you".
My emotions are pretty well strained. Talking to the Lord should help to heal them. He is the greatest healer of all time. Good night and God bless you all.
Ted...
Let it roll off your back brother...
Right or wrong I have always felt that if W is spewing at me and saying she hates me strangely I feel secure cause in my mind hate is a feeling so if W did this I knew she cared as strange as that sounds. It ain't easy hearing it and crushes your heart but it is a feeling in a land of limbo.
It strikes me that she says that she was thinking of moving in with you, 1 that she said it and 2 odd she would consider it yes??? You must have done something correct right??? Maybe telling her no on the finances struck a cord with her, that you do have your limitations even when it comes to your 'darling' a side perhaps she hasn't really noticed before???
Brian - Thanks a lot for the reply. And I found it interesting that you mentioned that even the feeling of hate is a feeling nonetheless, because I have been thinking right along those same lines. It is small consolation that the feelings are still there. I never really doubted this about my darling. I know I matter to her. And I know that I am a seriously hard addiction for her to break. I intend on keeping it that way.
Stay in the straight paths provided by the Lord. Rely on him for your guidance.
Hey tomato - i miss a week and i have to spend all morning reading your thread...
I think you did good talking to her about the money. I know from experience that a lot of times, people only get that defensive if they are feeling guilty about something. Maybe it's what you were thinking and she's really using the money to pay back her ex or maybe it's that she feels guilty cause of the charges to your account that were "innocent", no matter what it is, she's probably feeling guilty for something.
She turned something little (you asking about apartment) into a major issue. When i was first talking to OM, i would do things like that, cause if i could make him seem like the bad guy, i didn't have to feel so bad about what i had done/ was doing.
As far as the "i hate you" and the secrecy of your new R... I'm guessing she is feeling pretty bad about herself right now. Even if she doesn't want to admit it. She went from having a H, M, family, home and life to now not being able to afford an apartment and having to beg and borrow all the time. She is probably also a little embarrassed about seeing you because if she still wanted to be with you, then why would she have gotten a D. Every time she is with you and enjoying herself, it's just one more thing that says she made a mistake, i can't imagine she wants to broadcast that...
You inspire me. It is so encouraging to see a man with so much faith in God... She's lucky to have you now and will be even more so when she's ready to make some changes and get you back for real!
take care ann
If i can't fall in love... I'd like to fall in chocolate! ~ Author Unknown
Hey tomato - i miss a week and i have to spend all morning reading your thread...
You were probably reading it at work, weren't you? Must be nice to have a job like that. Oh yeah that's right, my job isn't too bad either. You probably mentioned at some point, but what is it that you do in addition to your full-time mommy duties.
Originally Posted By: Ann
I think you did good talking to her about the money. I know from experience that a lot of times, people only get that defensive if they are feeling guilty about something. Maybe it's what you were thinking and she's really using the money to pay back her ex or maybe it's that she feels guilty cause of the charges to your account that were "innocent", no matter what it is, she's probably feeling guilty for something.
Thanks for the compliment. I was thinking likewise regarding her feeling guilty about something.
Originally Posted By: Ann
She turned something little (you asking about apartment) into a major issue.
It sure seemed that way to me.
Originally Posted By: Ann
As far as the "i hate you" and the secrecy of your new R... I'm guessing she is feeling pretty bad about herself right now. Even if she doesn't want to admit it.
She actually does admit it or at least alludes to it. She doesn't try to paint any kind of rosy picture about her life. She admits that it is a really big-time struggle for her now and she doesn't know how to remedy it.
Originally Posted By: Ann
She went from having a H, M, family, home and life to now not being able to afford an apartment and having to beg and borrow all the time.
The statistics with regard to quality of life, most notably financially for females after a D, do not lie. I believe that in all but the minority of cases, women who get a D take a major financial hit when all is said and done. I guess my darling did not read the same statistics as me.
Originally Posted By: Ann
You inspire me. It is so encouraging to see a man with so much faith in God... She's lucky to have you now and will be even more so when she's ready to make some changes and get you back for real!
This is wonderful to hear from you. It means that I am partially succeeding in bringing honor and glory to God the Father. She doesn't really "have" me now because she is stridently choosing not to be loved. I was pretty well blown away by her TM remark about her figuring that she was going to move into my new place. I understand that TM's are very disjointed and leave a lot unexplained, but initially I took that to mean that she considered it to be a foregone conclusion that I would accept her idea of moving back in with me. That seemed very conceited to say the least. But of course it is extremely hard to decipher what is really going on through TM's. I guess I will maybe give her the benefit of the doubt that she would have simply proposed the idea of moving in rather than believing that I would never have turned her away. Or the other possibility is that she was just saying that to be spiteful and is just trying to use all of the love that I have for her in my heart to burn me.
The Lord will resolve this. And it will be right and true.
I am a little concerned tonight about DD15. Nothing too major, but I do not like the fact that she has chosen to block my ability to monitor her myspace page. I had previously made it clear to her that if she changed her password and did not notify me of the change that her myspace privileges would be suspended. So I just tried checking her page and could not because she has changed the password. She just changed her living arrangements, by moving to the foster home right next door to the previous one. I am undecided as to whether or not this will be a change for the better. I do not know the new foster mom very well. But what little I do know of her has me a little skeptical about how well my DD15 will be supervised. The previous foster mom was very good at keeping constant tabs on DD15.
Sorry to read about the recent developments with DD15 and your darling.
I am glad to see, though, that you ar still standing strong, despite what the Enemy is throwing at you. Keep the faith, my friend. God provides what we need in his time. Check otu the song link I just posted on my thread. I am getting this CD as soon as I have some extra money!
Stand strong in teh Wordof God and know that HE will provide what you ask for, it is only up to us to do the asking.
SMW
M40/H36 T16/M14 4K B2/08 S4/08 current
Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. I Corinthians 13:7
), is to listen with an 'ear' for understanding. That is the change that I want her to see in me. That reminds me of an interesting experience that happened to me just about this time last year. I'll share it later. Gotta go fly. My flight was delayed today cuz my freight was late showing up from Indy. It's always something.