I can totally relate to you in this. I handle all the finances and half the time i end up juggling things in order to pay bills. H doesn't want to know about it cause he says it stresses him out. He just asks if we are ok.
I know that we are in to very different sitch's but when my H got really really mad cause i mixed something up and he didn't know about it until after the fact, it helped to just agree with what i could... For instance in your case, you don't have to agree that she is stupid or that it's all your fault, but you could say "you are right, i should have made sure that you knew exactly what our finances looked like" You are validating her feelings without agreeing to the BS... It's amazing what hearing "you are right" can do.
My dad pretty much ignores my whole family (me, H and Ds), it used to make me feel better to yell at him about it, but i've realized that it's just the way he's going to be. Is it possible that he didn't see her? I can't imagine not acknowleging an aquaintence, much less family.
Keep going... ann
If i can't fall in love... I'd like to fall in chocolate! ~ Author Unknown
