Sorry to hear about your sitch and more importantly YOUR mood.
I know exactly how you feel because I've been there and I'm sure as you read more and more on this forum you'll see that what you are feeling is perfectly normal.
I'm a big believer in natural nutrition especially related to amino acids. Amino acids are natural substances found in food as well as manufactured by our bodies. There are no side effects or any drug like reactions.
With that said. When I am battling a bout of depression or anxiety I use a supplement regime that has not failed me. Obviously everyone is different and I cannot give you medical advice I am just telling you what works for me and many others. I take L-Glutamine and Vitamin C (as a co-factor) together three times a day on an empty stomach at least 45 minutes from eating anything.
Do a bit of research online on amino acids if you are interested and you'll find a wealth of information. Keep in mind that it's important to have the co factors along for the ride so to speak as they help your body utilize and vice versa.
One important point about amino acids is that they are absorbed quickly into the body without having to be digested. This is partly why they are so effective and so fast acting. Always look for "free form" amino acids. Quality is everything.
I play the guitar too and i also know what you mean about not feeling like playing at all... like you lost your mojo. Again, this is perfectly natural considering your sitch. When I use amino's usually the same day I'll break out of the funk. Sometimes it might take a few days depending on how severe the depression is. I can say though it has never failed me yet.
Just some food for thought.
- Scott
Original Thread Part 2 M-37 W-34 M 10 T 14 2 Ds 13
I hope no one is worried I'm going to commit suicide. I tried that in 1978 and found I was just too much of a coward to do it. Besides, if I do that, then my wife gets no insurance money.
I was on the phone with my wife's attorney this afternoon, asking him to get the extra keys to the apartment and car back from Rose. He told me to call her and do it myself. When I told him that her family and friends were all keeping her contact info and whereabouts a deep, dark secret, he was surprised. He just told me to contact those friends and relatives and get her phone number, then hung up.
There are no outstanding warrants or charges against me, not even for abuse. There is no restraining order against me. We are technically still married.
My son-in-law is coming over to pick up a present for my "grandson." I was thinking of asking him to get the keys from Rose. But if her tells me to contact her attorney, I'm thinking of then realting to him what the attorney said, and the fact that there are no charges etc. And that I'm willing to avoid her, but they must act as go-betweens or give me her phone number. And if they refuse, I may have to take legal action.
I can not answer the question but I'll tell you whats going on in my stitch. My wife still retains the keys to her house. Technically this is still her house. Her name is on the deed and title. We are still married. She would come home everyday and do laundry. Recently her washer got fixed by her daddy. Now she doesn't come everyday. Now she came today looking for sons baptism certificate which he never had for some reason. So whey did she come to the house. To drive me crazy. Who knows. She misses her house, she wants to make sure I'm not making a mess in her house. I don't know.
I think her having the keys and coming here is like bread crumbs. I never used to make the bed. Now I do. I leave the house as clean and neat as possible so that when she does pop in. She has nothing to say.
I asked my attorney this question and she said I could not change the locks. They only think I needed to worry about was getting a custody schedule, which has been somewhat impossible so far in my sitch. I'm at a standstill.
Now if you are going to take the car off her that is going to cause problems. It is not going to get you closer to your goal. Who's name is the car in? Who is it insured too? Part of the divorce proceedings may be pocession of the car anyway. You are going to have to talk to you own lawyer. I know in my area you can get a lawyer for the first hour for about 200 bucks. Then if you wish to proceed its a retainer fee. In the hour I think you can hash out all these questions.
If I were you I would not feed any information to her lawyer. It is her lawyer not yours. He is looking out for her not you. They are the scum of the earth in my opinion. Sometimes necessary scums of the earth.
Don't ask son in law to get involved over the keys or phone issues. She is most likely going to keep the car. Is it really worth pushing this further down the pike. If she is serious about serving you then you can take action. Remove her from the car insurance etc. I haven't changed my locks and it looks like she is done taking stuff from the house. It doesn't look like yours is trying the violate it by coming back. Call the sherif and ask if you can change the locks. If it is an apartment tell you landlord you are doing it. It is their building. For the safety of their building they may want the locks changed. Your landlord may even be familar with these situations for your area. You see I haven't taken action in my sitch, because for me it is a sign of love. Take whatever you want it is just stuff. I don't care about stuff. I'm giving it the old St. Francis attitude. I don't need anything. Really the more stuff you have the more you worry about it. Now the valuables mine took all of those. I don't want them. I have the house.
This grandson stuff is kindy loopy too. Why are they not allowing you to see him on his birthday? Oh, she will be there. That is just crappy and non civil.
My sitch is not good at all and everyday driving me insane.
I have a few advice for you since I know your pain.
Don't worry about future at all. Live one day by one day! survive one day by one day! As time goes by, pain will subside (I hope so).
Work out everyday whenever you feel like going crazy. I walk for 2 hours everyday to stay sane! It will help you stay strong and bring appitite and make your sleep. I still can't sleep well but at least better than before.
Make you busy all the time! if you can find another job, go ahead and get some part time job. Find a friend who can talk to or make friends. Read self help books ( I hadn't read those kind books before and now I got around 20 books on desk. I read and read and read). I'm very poor so I use library to borrow DVD. Watch DVDs! Do something and make youself occupied! As I said you need to go through this tough time. Time will heal us! and I strongly believe that.
I Do love my W and kids. I miss them everyday but nothing I can do. I never thought I was a horrible husband and dad but my W treats me like one.
Once you get some strength to stand alone, then you can move on and focus on yourself better!
Even though the car -- insurance, ownership, loan, registration -- is in both of our names, I need it to get to work, which is 35 miles away. There's no mass transit, and because my rent is lowest for a 60 mile radius, no chance of moving. I lose it; I lose my job.
And with all of my counseling and other issues going on, I can't look for other work. Even if I wanted to. You see, I'm 56 and really not worth it to most employers, and besides, my federal status is quite restrictive about moonlighting.
One thing is for certain: her own lawyer said that, because I would need to discuss non-legal matters with her, that I needed to tell her immediate family and firends to give me her phone number. There are no charges against me, nor are there any grounds for divorce other than living apart for 6 months come December. And no restraining orders. Therefore, by withholding the phone number, they are interfering and elevating this to a legal matter. I'm contemplating reviewing my legal optiosn and having a talk with the son-in-law soon to let him know what I find out, and to ask him and his wife to please cooperate so that I don't have to go for help.
And I don't have an attoreny. Although he's available through EAP, he wants a $2,000 retainer. And I don't have that kind of money.
We live in central Vermont, a small town that's almost rural in nature. I work in south Burlington, 35 miles away, for the federal government. I was blessed by God in that I was a GS-4 when I entered service in 1992, and was moved up through the ranks slowly over the ensuing years. Last year, I became a GS-9 in middle management. So even though I now gross nearly $50,000 annually, that only started this year.
We only had one car. She used it infrequently, and when we were together, my attempts to get her to drive were unsuccessful. She absolutely refused. She might have actually driven the car 4 or 5 times per year. That car has been critical for me to get to work. I've attempted twice to find people to car pool with; no soap. And no mass transit.
I'm currently the only one in the apartment, and the rent is $425/month with an average monthly heating bill of $100. There is nothing, and I mean nothing, within that range or even within $200 of that in the 60 mile area around Burlington.
I have outstanding debt of $28,000. I am just barely able to keep up with all expenses and debt payments. I am currently in negative territory in the checkbook because I've had to pay for a lot of counseling and doctor visits over the past month, partly due to the sep.
If I am ordered to hand over the car, I'm done. If I have to leave the apartment, I'm done. If the court tells me to declare bankruptcy, then my federal credit cards will be withdrawn and that will be grounds for dismissal.
If I overextend myself financially for any reason, including taking out new loans to take care of any expenses, the next step is default on payments. Credit counseling and intervention is no option, because half of all the credit I have had is now closed accounts that cannot be reopened. So, defaulting will result in bankruptcy; I am done.
I am originally from another county and town. She was my life; all her family became my family, and this became my home. Basically, she has let me know that she considers this her turf and that I do not belong here. Ultimately she doesn't really care about the money and property so much as she wants to force me out of the town, and would settle for me going to prison for non-payment of spousal maintenance, which she will absolutely insist upon. And I have not the resources to pay it.
You are not going to do anything by forcing her to talk to you. IF you complain to family about these matters you will just make matters worse. Here lawyer is her lawyer. Don't discuss what you need from her with him. You are only making his job easier.
Go and get a beater car. Make it work for you. Get a 10 speed if you have too. A moped. build a go cart. 35 miles isn't that far. Trade a computer for a car. Over service for computer work.
Nothing is impossible. Make it happen for you.
28K in debt is nothing. That is a car. Don't worry about that. Focus on you. Detach from her.
