AG - WOW. (SG - my apologies in advance for the hijack - my last).
I am an Indian-American woman - so keep reading.
The only moments that I am ashamed of my identity is when I have to share it with people that voice uninformed and insular opinions as written in your post. It makes me ashamed, because they are fueled, I feel, by a deep insecurity of being Indian and having no real idea about the country and culture.
I haven't posted in months. The only reason I am, is to protect the image of something I hold dear - my culture and identity. I don't want anyone here or anywhere to think this is what all Indians feel.
I am proud to be Indian-American. I am proud to be a woman. I am proud to be a human being in a respectful world. I always have been. I have never had to 're-connect' because I have always been connected. I speak, read and write the language fluently, travel there often, and have been tied to the culture here my entire life. I have always had my roots, heritage and identity firmly in tact.
I am appalled to read what you wrote - to know those opinions and stance is what you perceive to be part of any culture and identity. When I read your post, there is one thing that is screamingly clear: this person really is struggling to love something that they are just now discovering, because they need to define themselves. I was always taught by my parents, that if you have to flaunt how you are better, or flaunt your identity, then you are not really comfortable with it AT ALL.
Why cling so tightly to a false superiority when you truly are at peace with who you are? Why 're-connect' when you tout a proud heritage? Why was there ever a disconnect? Is it the "C" in ABCD? I, and no one I know, has ever felt this. We are well-adjusted children of immigrants, proud to be Indian AND proud to be American.
It pains me to read your clearly uninformed post and sweeping statements about a country and history that doesn't match your opinions. My parents would consider themselves failed if I came home with such opinions.
You paint the culture to be insular and bigoted. Everything points to the opposite.
Immigrants to this country believed in the American dream, while keeping their culture in tact....making the experience for this country, their children and themselves all the richer. We can ALL speak to that. It is not exclusive to Indians.
My father believed in the American dream. So did Lissie's father. Every parent does, every parent here. They want the best for their kids. To not 'disconnect' but make something new. That dream meant everyone had a chance, no one would be looked down upon. You didn't look down on others. You kept the beauty, values, philosophy of where you came from and it was the rock for your children.
Immigrants have made a big impact in this nation - for hundreds of years - Native cultures have, too. I am proud of that. And, they made it by NOT thinking the way you do.
The best of my culture I learned from my parents and my community. I never heard ANYONE, all extremely successful, voice what you wrote in your post. I never heard narrow-minded talk. What you wrote grates against everything my culture means to me.
Being a child of an immigrant, and Indian-American means having CLASS and DIGNITY. It means not looking down on others. It means not speaking ill of others. It means that true success is learning to adapt. It means being proud of who you are, an sharing that with others. It means learning to see the good in everyone. It means giving everyone a change, because you were. It means reaching across boundaries to make a better country. It means never shaming your heritage and family by representing them in a ill fashion as you did in your post. It means working hard, and even harder, without complaining, and pointing out that you are different. It means working shoulder-to-shoulder with everyone, because they are humans and to be respected at all times. It means, as every child of an immigrant has heard...."Take the Best of Both Worlds". IT means respecting everyone, where they came from, their story, and how they choose to live their life.
You stated that you hated it that people looked down on you, so why do the same to others?
If you look down on educational status and women staying at home, then do you also look down on most women and people in India? A nation where 60-70% of people live in rural villages and women still struggle for educations and status? Do you look down on a woman who cannot read and write, who has to stay home to take care of her children? How is that different than one who chooses to, from any country? Be honest with your view....read about microbanking, women's issues, the caste fight and religious discord. Have you taken a look at modern Indian culture? It has not advanced because of insular thinking, rather by melting, reaching out, adapting, sharing, and being FLUID.
My point is this.
No culture or people can prosper from insular and narrow views of others.
The root of humans, from any corner of the earth, and the essence of this board, is RESPECT. For others and yourself. My identity is not just where I came from, or a country...it is everyone in my life that shapes me....from all cultures, colors, genders and walks of life. I am proud of that.
And, knowing that, you will see that ALL cultures and value systems really are very similar - and I am proud of that, too.
It irritates me that you make me feel this ashamed. It irritates me that you think you speak for everyone. It irritates me that you think that you have to flaunt your story as if it is somehow superior. Trust me, there are people and families that have worked much harder. Respect that. It irritates me that you separate Western and Eastern, Indian and non-Indian - when that is the very opposite of what is reality and what is beautiful about the very thing you proclaim. It irritates me that you think the worlds are different, when you KNOW that the advantages you have in life are BECAUSE of the merging of both worlds.
