I do try to remember Kat. I appreciate the reminder. I know it's not going to get better as quickly as I'd like, but I just have such a hard time with her seemingly lack of remorse. But I also know W is such a stubborn hard head that she may be feeling those things, but to admit it to me would be the worst thing in her mind.
Last night while I was sitting there watching the Tour de France she was reading a book and sniffling quite a bit. I took a peek out of the corner of my eye and it looked like she was crying some. I don't know that for sure, but it looked like it. So maybe she's just not able to deal with the fact that she caused this and doesn't know what to do to get out of it.
I know not to get my expectations up too high waiting for a response to the email, but again, it will go a long way towards how I proceed.
Here's the challenge, as I see it (and I'd love to get WDID's perspective on this from the other side):
Unless your wife reaches out to you, shows some remorse, and shares some of her inner conflict with you, you are in no position to demonstrate to her that you CAN handle it, and still love her and want to be married to her. KWIM? I sense that she probably feels shame, and foolish, and wonders if you could ever love her again after what she did, and yet she's not giving you any CHANCE to show her, either, by the way she pushes you away.
Fold into this my concern that she has STILL not shown any sort of deep introspection (books, etc.) to be able to begin to heal herself and help heal your wound.
Fold into all of THAT is possible still occasional contact with OM (even if it's not romantic, and I don't think it is) and LOTS more "drama" communication with EGF, and you've got a powerful recipe for a STUCK MARRIAGE with two deeply hurting partners, each unable to reach out to the other to help them heal.
I think Retrovaille would be ideal, because it focuses on COMMUNICATION/DIALOGUE, and THAT is what's missing from your marriage right now, buddy.
