WAW and OM

[lost3031]

rpierson10, I agree with what smartcookie says. In my case, I had built an emotional wall around my heart for years that I was determined I would not let H through. Did I still love him? Absolutely. Would I have left him if OM had not reciprocated the inappropriate feelings I had for him? Absolutely not. So in a way, smartcookie is right on the money when she refers to the "ship life boat system." What most of us WAWs experience emotionally is a big confusing mess. I still love my H and I still worry about him and I still think he is a good man. But I also know that for whatever reason he couldn't give me what I needed from him even though I asked it of him hundreds of times over the years. The hurt runs deep and when it runs deep, yes, a WAW does try to distance herself emotionally from H - but that doesn't necessarily mean that they are completely immune to H's feelings. It's just that at this point in life, we are trying our damnedest to find the happiness that has eluded us for so long and perhaps that makes us seem selfish. After all, women are supposed to be givers, right?

In my case, I know that H is the one that I love but right now, OM is the one who is providing me with what H couldn't (wouldn't?) throughout our years together so that makes things very confusing for a WAW.

Just my 2 cents worth...