State of Mind

[BeingMe]

I do understand what you're saying, Wii! I hate hiding things from my children, but I also don't want to stress them out. I feel, as long as, we're not fighting, and are being civil, then a LS shouldn't have to be shared with them. Perhaps.

I am not interested in D, but I do want to be on my own (legally, if not physically). H is away from home all week, and home only on the weekends. I doubt he would want to change this. So, it shouldn't be too hard to keep the house as is, get the papers in order, and just go on as before. He is thinking of renting an apartment for when he is on a project for any length of time, so that would be like his own place. We don't have to share a bedroom on weekends, since we are not intimate, or anything .... we have a spare bedroom right next to the main bedroom which he could use.

Anyway, it's like we are living a lie anyway. We really aren't married in the emotional sense of the word, let alone the intimate sense ... just so on a piece of paper. Maybe, I should just go for the LS, let the kids know, and tell H that we can still continue as now, since I know we are his only real family in Canada. D15 would hate her dad not coming home on weekends.

Anyway, I am just really throwing this idea around. I want to be fair to the children (especially D15), H, and myself. I know he likes being at home with us, so I would hate to take that away from him. But, truly, we are like room-mates/friends who share a hug, occasionally, and a bed on weekends.

At this point, I don't want him to work on the M ... it's too late, as far as I'm concerned. I'm just looking at the least painful way of ending it.