wishing I didn't care that my parent were divorced...wishing I didn't have such disgust for dads ow that I will never meet her...wishing dad would finally get it and never ask me again if it's ok if she's at a place I'm going. maybe he'll get it this time. I'm tired of it all...tired of hearing his stupid explentation...gee who the hell actually sets out to have an a...they all "just happen" don't they...they are all "innocent" aren't they..oh bite me...matters not that dad wasn't the one to ask for the d..of course he would have stayed married to my mother...but he wouldn't have given up his skank.
I hate being the child of divorce...sometimes I wonder though...if I didn't hate it so much....maybe I myself would be divorced.
I don't get the whole "you just don't understand" crap when it comes to affairs...YES I DO understand...you made a BAD decision and got yourself involved in something you shouldn't have...of course we all have the ability to have "feelings" for many different people...thus the line in marriage vows FORSAKING ALL OTHERS...if we weren't naturally wired to be attracted to more than one person there would be no need for that vow..it is there for protection..to protect people from their own stupidity..gee if you are attracted to another and you spend more time with them because you are attracted to them dya not think something is going to happen..and even if nothing happens dya not think it's going to have a negative impact on the r you have with your spouse?
grrrrrrrrr!!!
it really isn't all that difficult to avoid having an affair...simply pay attention to yourself and use good judgement.
honestly I think life would be a lot easier if one of my parents died rather than divorced.
oh ya and btw...I still haven't forgiven h for everything...I forgive his stupidity in getting involved with ow..I forgive his leaving...I forgive his asking for d...but what I can't forgive yet is the way I felt after dd was born. and was reminded of it this am by a pic mil left out of h holding dd at about 5 days old.
h and I used to take a two week vacation in august....knowing that...we planned to have dd in august so that he could be around to help with son. h planned to go into work in am to get the employees started and be home by 10 am...h did no such thing...h went to work each day and worked all day leaving me home alone with the two. also the very night that h brought me and dd home from the hospital he went back down to work to do some paperwork. I did nothing but cry for the first months of dd's life...it was hell...then when she was 3 months old I discovered ow. I'm sad just thinking about it so I should stop. it really hurts though. when son was born h was by my side as much as possible...brought me roses and cards...called me all the time...when dd was born...nothing. can't get that time back I guess..but it is painful to be reminded everytime I look at pics of her as a baby how I felt then and what happend after. can't put away her pics...can't throw them away...I guess I just want to know that h is sorry for that.
I shouldn't have talked to my father today...it has upset me...I've let him know to NEVER EVER AGAIN ASK ME IF IT IS OK IF SHE IS AROUND ME! maybe he'll get it.
