Being Me, only use the separation idea if that is what you really, really want. Don't use it as a tool to get him to work on the M, not that I get the feeling that you are but...just in case, I mention it! Now, how do you have a legal separation but continue to live together? You would have to separate your living arrangements, not eat together, handle bills independently etc and do you not think your kids might just catch on at some point here? It sounds quite emotionally difficult and somewhat dishonest to your family. When the kids find out they're gonna want to know "why didn't you say anything?" They may feel misled, I dunno. Just thinking out loud here. I think it might be better to just go to H and say "I would like to separate in six months (or whenever) and therefore I need to know our financial sitch etc." If you do this as two civil adults it could work out well for you but who knows what can happen when you drop the bomb, people get weird! Just my 2 cents, for what they're worth.
