And it's so strange. I've spent so many years with this person. Shared so many things. And suddenly she's shut down. Totally focused on something else to the exclusion of all else.
I guess that's the hard part for me to accept. I feel like the last 12 years never existed. That there is no meaning there because the things I valued may not have actually been shared. It's all been a dream that I'm just now waking up from.
It's hard to accept that she never thinks about me, but if she does, she hides it well. And this is the person who told me she can't relate to anyone as well as I? What was that about? And she said that after filing for D.
I know, I know. I'll never understand. I should just accept that, and I have, and I will. Keep saying it and it'll come true, right? My heart no longer aches, but it's pretty bruised.
Okay, enough of that. tonight, chef lodo is going to prepare a miso broth with noodles, tofu, and chives. He might go a little crazy and throw in a small bit of jalapeno and perhaps a crimini mushroom or two. Right now he's enjoying a winsome chardonnay, but soon will switch to a bold syrah. Outside the smell of rotting fruit wafts about the patio. Nitin Sawhney is on the stereo.
It's a beautiful Bay Area night - still warm enough for shorts but cool enough to need long sleeves when the sun sets.
