hi all. Sorry i've been away. I'm back at work now, so i'll be here more often... \:\)

During this last week we moved. It has been a busy and stressful time for us.

Day care will be going up about $600 per month now that i'm back at work, so we have a family friend watching the girls. We are kind of trying her out to see how she does cause i'm a little worried that she won't be able to handle it. H decided that if she doesn't work out, he'll just keep them home with him... i can't get him to change a diaper or keep his temper with them and now he wants to keep them home with him all day while he's working. I expressed my concerns about it. I never said I didn't think he could handle it or that he wouldn't do a good job, but i did tell him that they are a lot of work and need more attention than his job will allow him to give them. I told him that i didn't want him to feel like he was stretched too thin. He got mad because i guess my mom had said something similar to him and so now i'm taking her side... I didn't even know she talked to him and i told him very clearly that this was my own personal concern and had nothing to do with my mother. Anyways... that should be a fun experiment. He had them today (with someone's help) and is already wondering what he's going to do tomorrow.

It's hard talking to my H sometimes. I'm really struggling with his insecurities and the fact that he refuses to deal with them... He made a comment about how now that we've moved there is nothing really tying me to him anymore (cause we are selling our home and renting) and how it would be easy for me to just walk away. I asked him if he really thought that was how i felt and he said no, he was just kidding. I reassured him anyways, but i know him. He wouldn't have said it if there wasn't some truth to it.

OK - Beyond that, let me respond to Dom...

Originally Posted By: DomR
In situations like these, I think you have to stop being so "polite". No more of the "I would prefer it" language. He takes that as "I can ignore it".
Stop letting him feel entitled to just loaf around the house goofing off.
you are right. I am always polite about things. I am really trying not to be as nice about things.
Quote:
I think you should have him handle dinner more often.
LOL... sorry, that was funny. If i don't cook, he will either not eat or just grab a bag of chips or something. It's important to me that my Ds eat well, so i make sure that they have food. There have only been a couple times that i haven't fed them if i have to go out and one of those times they ate potato chips for dinner... the other time i can think of he made tv dinners and i told him what a great idea that was and how much i appreciate him taking care of that. He is perfectly capable of doing things, he just doesn't. When I had wrist surgery and couldn't cook, we at pizza for like a week. that's just not healthy. That and i really enjoy cooking and baking. it's something that i'm good at and (when thing go smoothly) helps me relax...

Quote:
"I do the best that I can do. If you want it 'better than the best that I can do', then you need to either hire someone, or do it yourself. Or just ACCEPT HOW I DO IT. "
(remind him about you telling him a few days ago he needs to accept you )
Then, ask him to pick which one it's going to be.
this is good. i do need to be stronger about things like that.

When i reminded him about how he's agreed to make some changes, he reminded me that i said i didn't need everything all at once. So i told him that i don't, but something does need to start changing. I told him if he doesn't feel like our M and Family is worth the effort that he should tell me now, either that or commit to actually making some changes. He said that i and just trying to start a fight that of course he thinks it's worth it. I told him that i'm not trying to start a fight, i'm trying to save our M. he didn't say anything, so maybe he thought about that a little.

So, i'm not really sure how things are right now. We've been so busy moving and packing that we haven't really talked. He's had a super short temper, but i'm figuring most of that is because of the move, so i'm letting it go. My in-laws have been a god-send with watching the girls while we do everything.

So - there it is... time to go home now... see you all tomorrow.

ann \:\)

ps... THANK YOU!!!

If i can't fall in love... I'd like to fall in chocolate! ~ Author Unknown

ann