She might have a hidden agenda, but it may not be good.... it may not be bad. Don't go against the DB'ing and start digging now.
Sometimes I think the WAS wants to inflict pain even if it is just subconcious for them. They have built up resentment for years that needs to be dealt with. That's where the DB'ing works. It slowly removes that resentment and replaces it... but until it does, they may want to see that you are feeling pain.
As far as asking for time, do whatever you can in my opinion to delay things. I even brought up financial burden, how I would lose the house, etc. to get my WAW to stay home for a while. She was furious about it, but agreed.
The next 12 months were a roller coaster, and we both had successes and miserable failures.... even infidelity one night after drinking, prozac and a big argument.
but a year later she is kissing my hands, rubbing my feet, looking me dead in the eye and saying with all the genuineness that I could ask for.. "I love you".
... and the sex is great.
Even when I got mad and told her to hit the f**king road, brought home boxes for her to pack, and ran her into the ground, her response was "you're not getting rid of me".
So don't give up hope. Just keep the faith. It may not work out, but if it does, you'll feel proud and it will feel awesome to kiss the [censored] out of her once again.
I say prayers for everyone here, and will continue to do so.
Read Psalms 31:14 and practice it. It's all you need to help keep your head up.
one more thing.... if she has a good idea, like "I think d needs to spend time with both of us, how about over dinner"... say something like "hey, that's a great idea, you are such a good mom"
