Your husband's email really choked me up. I'm so happy for you. I'm so thrilled that your marriage is strong enough to weather such an intense storm!
xoxoxoxoxoxo, Ms. Imp ;-)
I know you're not in the States, but we have FitFlops at Macy's, Bath & Body Works and Victoria's Secret. Maybe you could order them online and have them shipped faster than searching the streets of your town?
M: 37 H: 36 Married: Aug 13, 2004 Decision to Divorce: July 20, 2008 Reconciled: September 2008 Current: Ambivalence
everything all of us LBSs wanted to hear at some point in our sitches. "Awareness", takes responsibility of his actions and the pain he caused you, wants to make the best out of this, wants to improve himself, has you in his future thoughts, tries to reassure you, emotion.... (courtesy of K)
W2G - I'm soooo happy for you!!! The email from your H was fantastic. I too agree with Kalni - everything an LBS would love to hear. Just wonderful news!!!
Me47 H46 S13 M16 Piecing since May/09
"Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to it." Lou Holtz
Thank you all for stopping by and being such shiny happy people for me. I am very happy about the progress H and I are making but I have my feet firmly planted on the ground.. I'm hopeful that what he says will come but have to also keep in mind that things change like the wind in DB world!
As for what I'm doing to reassure him. I swear that within minutes of me reading his email he was at my door to drop off my season pass. So I gave him a real warm and tender hug and small kiss and thanked him so much for the email.. and it was a very genuine moment because I seriously was over the moon with what I'd read mere moments before.
I'm not sure what more I can or should be doing. I am warm and friendly whenever he comes over. I touch him on the arm or his hair.. but I don't generally initiate any hugs or kisses (so that was a 180 in the above paragraph from me). I recipricate (sp?) his hugs and kisses.
H knows I love him. He has known since all of this began. I have told him during the situation that if I hadn't known what a good man he was prior to the bomb I wouldn't have bothered hoping for things to change for the better.. but that I knew the person I was dealing with at the time was a stranger that just looked like my H.
Journalling. Surprisingly H stopped by last night. I guess he was working semi-nearby so decided to stop over. He walked in and saw all the boxes I'd packed and that all the furniture was in the centre of the room.. and
H said "wow, this makes it feel so much more real". And he actually got teary. W2G said, "I know, it's kind of sad isn't it?".. H said in a surprised tone "yes it is.... although I know we're making the right decision". W2G said, "I know you never really wanted to live in the burbs... and if we could have afforded to buy in the city back then we wouldn't have bought so far from there". H said "I don't regret it. This house was great and was a fantastic investment for us.. especially if we get what were hoping to get when we sell".
Then the topic changed to something else I don't remember. The thing that struck me about it all was how he was hit with sadness when he looked around. I know it's probably going to sound selfish but I was glad to see that. I felt like that before I started packing up our things so I'm glad that he's feeling similar.
On to today. The painter is here. I think D2 has a crush on him.. but then she seems to get bashful yet wanting to be near all older men (older than her I mean.. I think this guy is in his 20's). I'm thinking he may be done tomorrow. Crazy isn't it? Then I need to finish packing up the trinketty stuff.. do a thorough cleaning.. have someone come in to take photo's and it'll be on the market!!!!!!!! Yikes!! It seems to be snowballing now.. where before it felt like it was stuck while I waited for painting!!!
Hi Where! WOW! I was so pleased and amazed for you to read that email, thats incredible, you must be thrilled. I am so so happy for you. It struck me with your description here that this is EXACTLY how I am/behave:
Quote:
I'm not sure what more I can or should be doing. I am warm and friendly whenever he comes over. I touch him on the arm or his hair.. but I don't generally initiate any hugs or kisses (so that was a 180 in the above paragraph from me). I recipricate (sp?) his hugs and kisses.
I havent gotton an email like yours though, but he is emailing me alot now. I am so pleased for you that your consistent, kind, calm approach seems to be working and chipping away to break down the wall he put up between yuo.
Love Ali xxx
Me:40! H:37 Together: 12yrs IDLY & left 11/07 ADs 03/08 OW 8/08 Reconciled 05/09 now married! my thread
I'm not sure what more I can or should be doing. I am warm and friendly whenever he comes over. I touch him on the arm or his hair.. but I don't generally initiate any hugs or kisses (so that was a 180 in the above paragraph from me). I recipricate (sp?) his hugs and kisses.
H knows I love him.
Keep on doing what you're doing W2G, he does know you love him, stepping up the displays of affection may take his job away from him & he probably wouldn't like that.(Being from Mars )
W2G, amazingly enough (really!!) it seems that your H responds well to your behaviour. He stands out of the DAM collection we have here. He actually responds!!! So, continue what you are doing and stay strong and with your feet on the ground as you said (funny, where did I hear this lately..., hmmmm). Love K
Do they really work?
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