I feel like I am so stupid. I said it all above that. I knew that he would not know how to handle a birthday present but because I wanted to give it to him so badly that is why I did it. I didn't think longer term and I should have done. <snip> I am wondering if I should send a message apologising but then again I don't want to ruin his birthday even more. Maybe it is best to leave it and chalk it up to experience. I suppose I know for the future, stick to neutral subjects.
Hi there I don't think I've posted to your thread before, but, I read it. Here are some thoughts I had. I think that we all struggle with continuing to do things that are part of who we are and at the same time trying to keep in mind the larger picture. You wanted to send him a birthday present and you did. The text wasn't loaded or pursuing, the card wasn't loaded or pursuing. I'm thinking that it was a good thing. Don't bring it up. Don't ask if he got it. You've thrown a love grenade over the wall. You don't need to see pictures of the damage
I struggled with saying ILY when I started LRT/going dark. Things seemed so unnatural and stilted when we would talk. I've finally compromised on saying ILY when it flows out naturally which is about 1 in 7 times we talk, and I do it because it's what I do. In the past, I would ask W, "Don't you love me to?" That, I quit doing.
I don't think I've posted to your thread before, but, I read it. Here are some thoughts I had. I think that we all struggle with continuing to do things that are part of who we are and at the same time trying to keep in mind the larger picture. You wanted to send him a birthday present and you did. The text wasn't loaded or pursuing, the card wasn't loaded or pursuing. I'm thinking that it was a good thing. Don't bring it up. Don't ask if he got it. You've thrown a love grenade over the wall. You don't need to see pictures of the damage 
