I think some subtle points you can make might help too. She sounds like she keeps focussing on who you were at some point in the past.
DO NOT tell her "I have changed" or "I can change" or "I am not the same man I used to be" these are cliche pursuit claims that don't help.
You could say things casually as you are talking about other things.
"I was teaching joey some chords on guitar the other day and I realized how much happier I am. I didn't realise how much I missed this until i started teaching to these kids again. I am so much happier I decided to do this."
The message that you have changed is IN there, but its not pursuit ladden at all...its terribly subtle. She should pick it up though.
If you just talk casualy about things you experienced that day that are poignant, funny, or moving for YOU and share that with her, you can slip subtle hints in there for her to realize you are a different person than the one she is thinking about.
The problem is , she thinks of going to YOU as going BACK to a place where she was UNHAPPY. We have to help her safely understand that you arne't asking her to go back there, but to go forward WITH YOU to somewhere she would actually enjoy quite a bit.
But you can't throw it in her face, you have to place the thougths there for her, and let her pick them up when she's ready. It takes time to plant seeds in a mind and wait for them to grow. This is like a plant, you have to be patient and wait for the plant to come up. You can't hurry a plant to bloom. Or think about pregnancy...you can't hurry a baby either.
There are things you can do to help them move, but ultimately you are just providing means for them to choose or not.
Just trust yourself Buster, if YOU feel better she will feel better about you. It takes WEEKS and MONTHS to produce the effect you are expecting in almost no time at all.
Michele points out late in her book that divorcebusting is NOT a quick fix, its something that takes time and committment. Its like music lessons or gardening. You do things, but you really dont see much gain there and you have to just keep up the work and TRUST that something good will come of it LATER on.
Hope is alive in you, just believe in yourself. She will FEED off your doubt and insecurities OR your hope and confidence. YOU are what she will turn to for that. If all you can do is feel miserable because SHE is miserable, you two are stuck. Buster you really need to find that in you for HER to change.
She will feed off your energy...share positive energy with her. She will keep coming back for more. Trust yourself and the pros here, this works.
