God commanded you to love her unconditionally. He never said to need her unconditionally.
Just because you became "one flesh" does not mean that you should be DEPENDENT on your wife. You are to LEAD her, and to LOVE her, and she is to help you and to respect you (also unconditionally). But nowhere does it say that you are to be co-dependent with each other.
This could be better answered by your pastor. Have you talked to him?
