(((Michelle))) you are so right. I actually feel better than I have since this mess all started.
I have to build a life for me and the kids and for now that is without their dad around all of the time. His life is far too complicated for us to try and continue to be in the middle of it. I think we need a break. Retreat to neutral corners and nurse our wounds.
Have a great day all....
M:39 H:39 K:S14;D8 T:22yr M:15yrs S:12/28/07 EA/PA 3/14/08 OW preg 11/17/08 born 12/12/08 his ~~~~~~~ Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option
Well here is a new little wrinkle to the already complicated saga that is my life. Apparently H maybe getting bumped off of his job. The company he works for utilizes statewide seniority and when/if they cut a job, the person who's job was cut can effectively take whatever job they choose, as long as the person occupying that job has less time than they do. So H is looking at his options and there is a good chance that he would not be able to get a job that keeps him home. This REALLY pisses me off because he has been home since November and has used this time to create this mess. ANYWAY. He asked me what my opinion is because it looks like he will have to work out of town again, which means he will be gone approx. 8days and home for 6. He is considering a job over on the desert (read the middle of nowhere) between Barstow & Vegas. This particular assignment comes with its own house (paid for by the company). My first comment was well, I don't think being that close to Vegas is a good thing for you and he replied that in California, you can gamble anywhere...he is right. If you are looking for it, you will find it. He then said it would be good because he could just go to work and afterwork go and work out (he has gained about 40-50lbs during this whole ordeal). I said well, maybe some solitude would be good, that he could use that time to get his head together and he agreed. I wish I could believe that, but I just don't anymore.
His R with OW began when he was working out of town, but he got the job here about 2 weeks after they started calling each other so she has never really had to deal with him being gone all of the time.
Never a dull moment though...
M:39 H:39 K:S14;D8 T:22yr M:15yrs S:12/28/07 EA/PA 3/14/08 OW preg 11/17/08 born 12/12/08 his ~~~~~~~ Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option
I dunno about the job. It's so hard to determine what will be helpful for your husband. He's such a mess now. I'm assuming he's too proud to seek therapy...?
M: 37 H: 36 Married: Aug 13, 2004 Decision to Divorce: July 20, 2008 Reconciled: September 2008 Current: Ambivalence
He origionally called to ask me what I thought he should do and my response was, "Well H, you have to do whatever works for you." He got kinda pissy and said,"Whats that supposed to mean." It means what I said...duh. Do whatever you are going to do. He has to make money, because now he will have more bills than what he had before he did all of this and so taking a job that doesn't get any overtime or pay as well is pretty much out of the question. I know OW won't be going to live with him becuase her older kid won't want to leave her friends and OW can't quit her job, H isn't going to support her...
Originally Posted By: girlfromipanema
I dunno about the job. It's so hard to determine what will be helpful for your husband. He's such a mess now. I'm assuming he's too proud to seek therapy...?
I think he will seek therapy when there are no other choices. But this too is something he will have to figure out on his own.
M:39 H:39 K:S14;D8 T:22yr M:15yrs S:12/28/07 EA/PA 3/14/08 OW preg 11/17/08 born 12/12/08 his ~~~~~~~ Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option
I almost have a feeling that him working out in the middle of nowhere could be good. Being away from OW can't be a bad thing, and not having you there to blame everything on might be good, too. And you won't have the stress of having him around. But, like you said, it's up to him. I wonder if he is asking your advice so that he can then blame you for the outcome? Hang in there!
[quote=dry_heat I wonder if he is asking your advice so that he can then blame you for the outcome? Hang in there![/quote]
Somewhat like...if a man speaks in the middle of the forrest and no one is around to hear him, is he still wrong?
It sounds like he is going to do everything he can to work behind the scenes and prevent this from happening, but I don't think it would be the worst thing in the world. But since that is the case, there is no way in hell it will happen now, LOL. I wonder if OW is freaking out about it?
M:39 H:39 K:S14;D8 T:22yr M:15yrs S:12/28/07 EA/PA 3/14/08 OW preg 11/17/08 born 12/12/08 his ~~~~~~~ Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option
Corey.... If a man speaks in the middle of the forest, and there is no woman there to hear him, is he still wrong?
Thanks Jeff, I knew it was something like that, LOL.
If him being gone would potentially be a good thing, then Lord knows he'll end up staying here.
Originally Posted By: tiredandlost
sugar..
I hope she i freaking out about it, serves her right.
Me too
M:39 H:39 K:S14;D8 T:22yr M:15yrs S:12/28/07 EA/PA 3/14/08 OW preg 11/17/08 born 12/12/08 his ~~~~~~~ Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option
