Saw the page on detachment, LostPhil. Even though I know in my head that a lot of it makes sense, and that it's probably best, it feels like finalizing everything, even more than the decree due in December. and the 3 kids I came to know as "my grandchildren," they're gone. Do you know the grandson is 14 years old, and that boy and I have been best buddies since he was 2? Now, he won't even talk to me and he doesn't want to be in my sight.
I don't see any hope anyway. I've never felt so useless, worthless, and like such a nobody in my whole life. I've never wished I were dead so strongly than what I do now. I pray daily that the Lord deliver me from all this. Besides, if I die naturally, my wife gets close to $100K in life insurance. It would be for the best.
