Quote: NO YOU COULDN'T LIVE WITH IT LL, IT WOULD ONLY DRIVE YOU NUTSER!
I know a gentleman who wasn't having much sex with his W, thought he found someone else, and wanted a D. Guess what? I KNOW he wasn't having sex with OW, she just understood him, and wasn't that horny herself!!!!!!
Sex is not the main reason for an A!!!!!
do you not understand that part of the problem is that I "think" he may have done something with her and he will admit to nothing...not even a kiss...a passionate embrace...
obviously my h is not a sex fiend...his drive is low...he's not a "typical" guy (I guess I'm more the typical guy than he is) so it is plausable that nothing actually ever did happen between them.
if h were to come out and tell me he had crazy passionate sex with her on a regular basis it would kinda shock me but what the hell...give me some of that too and we'll move on.
I will not take responsibility for his choice to seek comfort outside our marriage...I would not blame him if I did the same...I would have no right to do so...it would be MY choice and my choice alone...sure he could give me more of what I want and need...but it would be MY OWN ISSUES AND INSECURITIES that would lead me to have an a not his doing or not doing.
I will accept my role in the breakdown of the r (and do my best not to point blame at h for my reactions) but I will not accept responsibility for HIS actions..no way no how!!
Quote: Sex is not the main reason for an A!!!!!
I'm very aware of that tony...I may be young but I'm not naive...I've lived a little.
but sex usually does come into play at one point or anther in an A.
but then again there is the line that ow fed me (more of her passive aggressive cruelty) "it wasn't physical LL, I know you'll never believe us..it just wasn't like that...anyone can have a physical r" gggrrrr.
I don't think men really understand how women feel about the whole sex thing...sure I wouldn't be happy to know my h was screwing around but if it were just physical that'd be a whole lot easier to swallow then knowing that they had an emotional connection that there were feelings of love involved. I'd rather he went out...got drunk and went off with some little tramp than to have had this long drawn out emotional connection with another woman..one that made him grumpy and groutchy toward me..one that made him feel so guilty that he couldn't be around me.
I suppose none of this really matters anyway...what h has learned (I hope) is that despite the fact that things don't always go perfectly he does love me and I him...and we can enjoy eachother and will get better and better at doing things the right way as time goes on.
so....
back to the positives...
1. it's a beautiful sunny day
2. talked to h some today already (ok stinky that I called but whatever) and he was friendly
3. emt class tonight
4. the airconditioners will be put in soon (thank god)
son again asked daddy if he was comming to his house today...made me cry...I think it upset h too (I mentioned it to him yesterday and that it saddens me that son still asks...it's a reminder of a time when he wouldn't come everyday) h responded to son.."yes son, I come home everyday and it's OUR house" that made me cry even more...luckily it was a nextel convo so h couldn't hear me and I was able to get off the phone quick enough without mention of it but he knows anyway.
oh well...I suppose the summer will be a little tough after all this time last year h wasn't home and was in full d mode...but we're making a new year and new memories...I'm really looking forward to h being home on the 4th...last year I lit off firworks (yes they are legal here) in the back yard and got son up out of bed to watch..it was cool..but I felt bad for h because he missed it...this year he will be a part of it though and that is what I will remember!!