"h lays part of the responsibility for his having an a on me."
LL,
Hate to tell you this girl, but that's true. Hell You know this: "Whenever a person has an A, there is something missing in their M" Rather than try to fix it, they look outside! Now, it's up to YOU to fix it! I've identified my shortcomings in our M, and have promised myself to fix them IF W ever comes home, which I doubt at this point. Your H IS home, don't chase him away AGAIN!!!!!!!
"no tony what would hurt me is to find out that he's been lying all along about what that r was..."
OK how's this: "LL, I'm sorry I lied to you, we had wild and crazy sex 15 times a week, and I still love her and see her"
Now does that make you feel better? Hell no, it would kill you. Of course he lied to you. To protect you LL, because he cares. How do you think he feels living with that guilt?
"gee if I were to decide that I want more sex and more fun socializing and h just wasn't providing it would it be his fault if I went elswhere for it?? I don't think so...so then how is it fair of him to place partial blame on me for his affair? "
Nothing is fair LL, you know that. How many times have you heard it: "love is a decision" And yes, I think it would be his fault!!!!His fault for wanting you to do it, and your fault for doing it. That's why YOU have to make things work!
"before falling asleep I did let h know that I was sorry for letting things get the way they did last night...h said it was ok and tommorow would be a new day"
Good for you, and good for H. That was definitely a positive. H sounds like a DB'er
"I have to be responsible for myself...the feelings that I have are my own."
Think about that!
THE WALL! Why do women do that? Why do women build walls? If they think it will protect them from hurt, why are you hurting? Tear the wall down LL! My W has the same problem. She built a wall, never let me in, now she's gone! I just hope she keeps up the wall w/OG!
