LL, You really need to look at all you've gone through in just one week....it truly is amazing. Your shift really got tons of positive results for you, but you've hit a low spot for a day or two. Geez....even tho you and I are at different stages/ages with our families...what you state about H is soooooo familiar. Mine is also smart...and would never do the grand gestures....ILY's are rare, so their more meaningful, haven't haad flowers for 20+ years, he notices things and makes small comments...but knows how to allow me to stew. I'm really trying the 180's, struggling not to react when he's in a bad mood ( which is often)..and he thinks the kids are against him, whenever they disagree with small issues. I don't know about your H, but I think mine is dealling with a lot of guilt (he was a former Catholic...and dropped out cuz of the guilt issues). What seems to work for me, is when I admit I have my own issues to work on...my laziness in the past years about putting our M on my priority list...etc. He then seems to open up, cuz he doesn't feel like he's the bad guy 100%. (He is as far as making a choice with OW)...but I don't go there yet, waiting for him to bring her up. I had a few down days too, tried to be distracted with activities with friends and kids. He seems distant this week, since Sunday...you're right this Dbing is really hard work, expecially when you just want to kick them in the balls and call it quits. Hang on, I'm trying to. You still inspire me with your journey....re-read it to inspire yourself, and count all the positives. Then just chill and enjoy your darling kidlets. Thinking of you. Mooka
