I know your heart is in the right place, I'm going to have to disagree w/you though.
I'm not consumed w/ my H. My head is not spinning w/possibilities.
I have gone the other route for 14 months & it has not worked for me. It is a much better call to not to be around this last week for me. I know the "treat your spouse like a neighbor" bit, I've been doing it.....
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Nothing says you have to talk to each other, more than a wave.
Yes, experience says that H has not come to the door, p/u'd S & left w/ a wave.
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Stop.
Stop right now.
Stop making the phone calls to where the other woman worked.
Stop trying to find out where he is, what he's doing.
Stop
.
Gypsy, one phone call (in 14 months) was made by someone to find out for sure if OW was on this trip. Since I drew a line beforehand, I wanted to know if that boundary was violated.
I read your post as casting me not too far from "The astronaut in diapers."
If I was obsessed w/H & his activities, I would have driven by his/her house at least once in all this time.
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Ms. Sunny... you have this beautiful container full of radiant energy. Do you really want to spend what is so wonderful on him? Isn't it better used on you.. on the kids?
One of the downsides to only getting part of the picture. My energy is spent on me & my children & the less I have to engage w/H right now, the more positive that energy is.
I will continue to use information to find the truth on matters that directly impact me, since my H is "truth challenged." I wish I knew the truth of what was really happening in the beginning, I likely would have proceeded in a much different way. I only use information as a tool, I don't care to know the details of what goes on between them.
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Your spouse has been the star of the show for way too long.
You have my full agreement there
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You're worth it!
And here...I've never had a self-esteem issue, for some reason my mind doesn't work that way. (Even as I can see work needs to be done, I manage to keep them separate.)
Thanks for your consideration & post, it's nice to know that you care enough to send it.
