I've also realised that a lot of my tension about everything is to do with a feeling of being frightened of being a failure and having a failed marriage so I am going to try and work on some acceptance. I feel that when I find that I may be able to truly detach. Has anyone else experienced this anxiety of failure?
(Raises hand) Ooo, I have, too! Big time. I'm so afraid of failure, I don't even like to admit that I am afraid of failure! Cause that's a failing!
Julia, you're not a failure. Your marriage does not define you. It takes two people after all. You are doing everything you can to save it, and even if ends up you can't, what you will have found out about yourself and what you take to your next relationship equals phenomenal success. So few people in the world even bother to fight for anyone, or change themselves, or change how they see relationships. You are a rare success, in other words. You family and friends all see this. And if you end up losing your marriage, it won't change that a bit.
It is in the shelter of each other that people live.--Irish proverb
