I do think she will show you her remorse about the affair. Just give her time. Until she gets rid of all of her anger and she trusts you again, she won't admit anything to you or herself. She has done something awful, she knows this deep inside, to tell you now would be to say that everything she has done and felt this past year meant nothing....can you see how hard that is for a mind to handle?
That being said, she DOES need to feel remorse for what she has done and I wish you could get her to retrouvaille because you would see results in the speed you want it. You don't share your story with anyone, you don't sit and talk with anyone. You sit in a group of people and listen and do some things on your own in the privacy of your room. It's not a counseling session.
I was like your wife in that I wanted the dreamy, magical, soulmate love. I watched The Bachelor, too. My favorite movies are romances and dramas. How can you compete? She has to learn that isn't true. She has to be away from OM a set amount of time (which she is), and read books or go to this retrouvaille or counseling or all of them. Puppy said something about bringing this up. Maybe it is time?
I know I sound like a marketing rep for Retrouvaille, but I have no reason to tell you about it other than I know it would be what you need. The thing I got out of it was HOPE.
