I think since this has been a long standing V for your S and you both have agreed to try and be nice that your solution of having joining rooms is a good one. I would certainly have a talk with him about why you want the room situation. Get it settled before you go because if it comes up during the V it will not be fun for anybody.
I understand why he would want sex. It is how us men feel connected but he does not understand that you need to be emotionally connected to really enjoy it or want it. This is another tough thing to get thru to us men.
