Hope4us struggle, part 7

[Hope4us]

I hear what you're saying WDID. I just have such a hard time when she acts so indifferent about the affair, like she didn't do anything wrong and it's no big deal and won't take any responsibility for any of this. Like she's justified in what she's done.

I've said this before and probably will again. I take credit for my portion of where our marriage was that let this happen. But I refuse to take credit for her affair. And until she can wrap her mind around that, we'll NEVER get anywhere. And I'm just not sure she'll get there (if ever) without a BIG PUSH from me and my kids.

I understand love is a decision. She doesn't. She watches crap on T.V. and reads books that all have this magical, there's one person in the world for everyone and she just thinks because OM made her squishy, then she can't possibly love me. She thinks love is either there or it's not. And how can I complete with that?

I'm going to give her time. Til Oct. And yes, it would be easier to leave. But I've been at this for over a year now since I first suspected what was going on and I'm exhausted. And S16 is really having a hard time of it too, but W either doesnt' see it or refuses to see it. So how much longer can I/should I put up with it?

Don't get me wrong. We're making progress. At least I think we are. But without her doing/saying anything that gives me hope, I'm just not sure how much more I'm willing to invest in a relationship that is/has been always so one sided.