This whole thing is just endlessly confusing. H called me this morning to discuss when we could see the mediator again. I told him I was very upset by our conversation the other night and terribly hurt by his comment that the first thing he did to save our marriage was have D11. He said "Oh, I was joking." Yeah, right. It sure didn't sound that way when he said it on Wed night. And what kind of joke is that anyway?

So then we chatted for a long time about the girls, plans, etc. It was totally friendly and even enjoyable to talk with H like that because we ARE friends still, when I can let go of my hurt/anger.The problem is that I get seduced by his chattiness and we start joking around with each other and then I start thinking (to myself) that we clearly belong together and then I realize all over again that he never wants to get back together with me and then I start feeling bad and hurt and confused--it's a vicious, very exhausting cycle.

At one point, we were talking about how maybe we'd all go out for dinner on Fri night, when D11 comes home from sleepaway camp. I also agreed to go back to the mediator since we have to sort out financial stuff anyway.

I don't know which way to go--to keep my wounded pride/anger to myself and stay in the friendly, cooperative, chatty zone with H, or to do more of the LRT approach and only interact with him when I have to.




Last edited by lovemyguy; 07/22/08 03:03 PM.

Me/X-H: 47/48
T 19 yrs
M 16 years
D14
D10
ILYBINILWY: 10/07
H moved out 6/08