things continue to take a positive tone round here...
a little insecurity passed through me last night...
my own thoughts...it was monday...h had stressful day and was tired when he came home...I took it personaly for a little while and then we joked about it later.
1. when h arived home I didn't get hugs but instead got some sort of groping (hands running along my sides, gee might have been that bikini top I was sporting while eating dinner)
2. h cuddled me when I woke to a thunderstorm.
3. h and I have played phone tag this am.
4. emt class tonight with first quiz
5. concert fri night!!!
6. forgot to mention that h mentioned wanting to get away for a weekend soon with the family.
7. h mentions wanting to get away someplace (come the fall early winter) with just me.
folks...sure the thoughts and insecurities still linger from time to time...sure there are still some questions I feel haven't been answered...sure I sometimes feel like h wants to tell me something but isn't ready yet...but focussing on the positives really really helps!!
son (now 4 had 3rd bday at start of seperation) has not yet forgotten the seperation.
last summer (from march thru roughly dec) h did not live here..son would ask is daddy comming to my house...when h started to come more often (more than just the sched visit's of 3x a week) son stopped asking (well most of the time) it seems now that since the hot summer weather has returned again (ok and also since h has started back to work) son is asking again almost every day...is daddy comming to my house today?
I know that there are anniversary times of year when we will remember what happend (ie last 4th of july h was only here for the am and a brief visit in the afternoon) but I thought that kids especially as young as my son would forget...I guess I shouldn't expect him to forget though...he's pretty damn sharp for a little guy...but it does sadden me that he still questions wether or not his daddy will be comming home each day.
other than that...things are still going well.
getting a tan with the nice sun shine...spending some time in our new "pool" and enjoying my kiddos.
1. seems like h's sched is slowing down a bit..those 7pm arivals are getting to be more like 6pm.
2. h is looking forward to 4th of july weekend...three whole days OFF!
3. h has made statement "I'm taking next year off" from projects in the yard.
4. I got an 85 on my first quiz for emt class
5. h has initiated twice this week!!
basically all that's left is for h to ask me to put my rings back on...I'd like to have our vows renewed...oh ya and for ow to sell her house and move away so that she's no longer even a customer....oh and I'd love to just beat some sense into her just once...(bad LL evil thoughts be nice...she's suffering enough by her own doing)
LL - it's scary just how much the young ones remember things. D (who is 8 now) would routinely freak W and I out in the past by remembering things that she would remember when she was a year to a year and a half old. Hopefully this phase will pass for S4...
