She is being selfish now. She doesn't realize it. She is trying to forget the OM so talking about him and the affair is something she wants to avoid. If you are looking for a "I'm sorry" you will get it, but she is not there yet. You need to give it time. She is worried your marriage will be the way it was. She needs to trust you, too. She is really trying...really, really trying. It is hard for her. It doesn't seem fair that the "cheater" is struggling, but she is.
You eventually will need to talk about this and tell her your feelings about how she is acting. Now is probably not the time. She needs more time. You will get what you want, h4u. You just need to be patient. Yes, it is work. Would it be easier to leave? Perhaps so. Every marriage will take work. Love is a decision. You can decide to love or you can decide not to. If you decide to love her, you guys will get through this. I just know it. Reread the progress of your previous posts.
I can't say enough for Retrovaille. If you guys can go, you will be months ahead in this progress you are looking for ....I Can PROMISE YOU THAT! You know my situation. I have more hope for my marriage than I have ever had. We are touching and I like it. I am looking to the future now. I know you said she thinks it's hokey or something, but convey it to her as a weekend away in a hotel where she doesnt' have to cook or clean. It's only ONE weekend. How can you go wrong?
