If you confront him, he will most likely deny. Exposing the affair does not necessarily mean confronting the spouse. It means exposing the affair.

Telling others about it in a way that is going to affect your husband the most swiftly and decisively.

I told OW's husband, FW's boss, and FW's parents (plus others, but those were the main ones).

I am a firm believer that affairs needs to be plunged into reality and quickly as possible. Not very DB, but I'm not a strict by the book DBer either. Never was. I liked many of the things in DB (mainly the GAL and focus on yourself more), but used other sources as well. I don't think one book or philosophy has everything for every person in it.

That being said, do you know who OW is? Is she married? If so, her H has a right to know what is going on. You don't have to get involved in his life just let him know of the situation as gently as possible so that he can take whatever action or inaction he wants to take.

I have since heard that FW's OW's H didn't really appreciate me telling him, but I knew I was going to blow the thing wide open that day and I didn't want him to find out in some horrible round about fashion. Just MHO. Many will disagree.

I agree with IMP too. Focus more on yourself and figure out what you need. This is a tough time and you need to take care of yourself and stay strong for your kids, etc.

Mainly, pray and ask God to lead you in the direction you should go. You will get many differing opinions on here. Many opinions that won't work for you and some that will. Pray and ask God to help you sort out all the noise and to do his will. If you are truly trying to follow Him you can't go wrong.

BFM

Last edited by butterflymom; 07/22/08 12:38 PM.
There is only one person who could ever make you happy, and that person is you.
David Burns, Intimate Connections